Dick Deprivation

Don't laugh. This shit ain't funny! It's a serious matter. 

Dick deprivation is a severe condition wherein an extended period of time without dick (or any sexual contact) begins to cause chronic side effects. Side effects include but are not exclusive to:

1. Bitter bitch syndrome - very similar to being an actual bitter bitch except this feeling is usually limited to the time leading up to getting some again. This generally means a chick will gain this stink, unfounded dislike for men. Bitter bitch syndrome is very convincing. These girls have an answer (not always a good one) for everything. You can't argue with them about niggaz. But as soon as they get dicked down again, their whole attitude switches up. 

2. Space filling - fake occupation. Finding shit to do with your time instead of banging or thinking about banging. This tactic usually doesn't work because regardless of what you're doing, you still have your mind in the gutter. 

3. Irritability - seems obvious. This tends to be the main side effect of dick deprivation (lucky for me it's the only one I go through). I get annoyed at the smallest things, lose patience for people, roll my eyes and suck my teeth at EVERYTHING. It's just one big shit show. One of those things even weed can't fix (yeah.... It's like that). But just like the other side effects, a dose of good sex is often enough to solve the problem and put you back in a better mood. 

I haven't done the research, but from my perspective, dick deprivation sets in at different times for different people. For someone who is used to having sex a few times a week, two weeks sans penetration can send them into a frenzy. For other more well behaved folks, a couple months without some nookie can start the symptoms. Those who have it the worst are people in relationships. A simple argument where y'all stop speaking can be enough to make her realize she ain't gettin' none until the argument has been resolved (try solving it with sex... Just saying). Others voluntarily put themselves through this sort of temporary sex rehab. Where the DD is a result of the choice not to engage in sexual contact. The reasonings are valid (new love interest, recent break up etc) all the same, and these folks tend to handle the symptoms better since they are more aware of the results of their choice. 

People have the misconception that rubbing one out is a solution. No, it's not. Masturbation is only a temporary stress reliever, a bandaid solution. Regardless of the fact that you may be able to reach the big O on your own better than you can with a dude, something about the process of letting him try can be more satisfying. 

Another misconception is that as  girls we can get just about any dude we want. Even if that was true, only hoes start throwing around pussy just cuz it's been too long and they need some. Maybe some head here and there but to me it's just not worth it to throw my hands up in frustration and just sit on the nearest available penis. A girl's gotta have standards bruh. 

Whatever your situation please recognize and sympathize with those of us who are going through dick deprivation. We need to begin supporting those in need of a good jook. We all have our reasons for temporary celibacy, so let's not judge. Let's end the cycle of celibate misery. Go fuck someone. 

The Articulate Bitch