I started this segment to give people an inside view of the club scene from my eyes. There's a lot of things people don't see. I'm not claiming to be the authority on clubbing, but it's been 10+ years of this shit for me. I know some shit.
That being said, in 10+ years of paying my party dues (standing in line, buying tickets, shitty DJs, asshole promoters, buying cheap drinks, stepping up to cheap bottles, and so on) some shit happened last night that has NEVER happened to me before.
So me and Pinky get invited to parties we don't usually attend all the time. Sometimes we're invited because the promoters are our homies, sometimes it's cuz "I saw y'all in the club, you go HAM", but whatever the reason is we get invited. Last night was no different and we had been to this venue before so we got cute and went.
Now, its true, we were bribed with drinks. Were it a 'buy a bottle' situation I woulda been in dreamland dreaming about Church Thursday night. But I was invited to come drink and be merry. Neither of which happened. I would like to clarify that the person who invited us was NOT responsible for this situation.
It was still early, so the club was pretty empty but we had just got there so no trippin' involved. We get asked "do y'all want a drink?" standard polite response after peeping the vodka we don't normally drink, "yeah, sure" and the polite smile. So we each get promptly handed what appears to be your standard vodka cranberry. This is where shit gets real.
Me: *sip* .... *sip*.... *look of puzzlement*.... *sip*
I start laughing, then look at Pinky who has the same look of confusion on her face. So I type out to her the following:
"that moment you sip a drink someone handed you and taste NO alcohol"
To which she proceeds to join me in laughter. Ladies and gentleman, the drink in my hand was a bootleg. A fraud. A fake. Fugayzi. Fugaga. Nigga, I was sippin' straight cranberry juice.
Now, the situation could have been handled in a couple ways. Most of which would have lead to an argument and disrespectful behavior (which would have been fully constituted given the situation). We chose not to say anything to the perpetrator. We stood for another 20 mins laughing, sharing the joke with two of my homies who tasted the fraud drinks themselves, so they know. Finally me and Pinky realized the shit was honestly too disrespectful for us to continue showing face at the party. Got home at 1:30am.
Now, what was the point in handing us drinks with no alcohol? You woulda looked like more of a boss just NOT giving us anything. Second, I might have understood the fugayzi drink if we had ASKED for them on some thirsty heaux shit, but why offer then disrespect? Thirdly, we party so regularly and get so drunk regularly, why did home boy think we weren't going to notice the lack of intoxicants in our drinks?
Seriously, after 10 years no one has ever been that disrespectful toward me. Fake drinks? REALLY? I talk about fake ass, fake tits, fake hair, fake nails, fake designer shit, fake ballers, fake pimps all the time. But fake drinks? Homie just cleared a category for himself.
Needless to say you won't catch me at that party again unless home boy apologizes to us and hands me a Hennessy bottle at the door. I don't give a FUCK.
The Articulate Bitch
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