Most Swag: Ways to Show Love

It's finally February and Valentine's day is once again here. As important as it is to show some love on this designated day, it's perhaps more important to know how to show the person you're with some loveeeee and affection every day.

Many people are just not affectionate. They take the approach of treating their relationship like a job. They show up, go through the motions, do the bare minimum and clock out at the end of their shifts with about as much enthusiasm as it takes to watch paint dry. Affection is meant to show love to someone, in subtle ways. Small acts of love to remind someone that you are enjoying the time you spend with them, and that they make you happy.

Affection is a lost art. To be effective, it has to be tailored to the person you're showing it to. Most people aren't super mushy, or lovey-dovey, so the "traditional" concept of romance and affectionate behaviour may not necessarily be well received by the modern man or woman. Beyond the death of traditional romance, many people are not comfortable  with PDA (public displays of affection) either, so an equivalent must be found to suit the needs of our modern day relationships. Here are a couple ways I've found are better suited for the 2013 man and woman's new love life.

In days long passed, it would have been commonplace and customary to write the man or woman of your current affections a love letter. You would have sat at your dimly lit desk and poured over mushy line after line until the pages were full and your heart had purged it's every inner emotion. Sealed with a kiss and a spritz of something sweet smelling, your letter would have been read by your sweetheart over and over and over again until their cheeks hurt from smiling. Then they would reciprocate and complete the same process. Nowadays, snail mail is dead, so too died the love letter. What do we have now? Well, we have texting. However informal the delivery and however un-romantic the writing process, this is what we are left with. Sending your boo a nice text, however long or short is a nice way to let them know that you're thinking about them. Don't lie, when your phone buzzes and you see it"s a text from your boo, you smile. That's exactly the point.

In public, showing affection can be a slippery slope. Too much, and you're one of those people. Not enough and you're lover may think you are afraid to claim them in public. Personally, I'm not a fan of PDA. I think certain things should be left for the privacy and intimacy that is reserved for just the two of you. You don't have to eat each others' faces in public to show some love in public, but you shouldn't be so obscure that others aren't sure that y'all are together either. Body language and eye contact says so much. At the very least, the physical distance between you should be small enough that another girl/guy won't try to scoop your sweetheart. I can't tell you how often I see dudes walk so far behind their girlfriends that other dudes see an open window to step to her. Then they want to get mad about it, like it's not their fault. There is a simple solution, don't be afraid or ashamed to BE with someone in public. You don't need to kiss or even hold hands if that's not your steelo, but at least have occasional physical contact that reflects an intimate relationship. When you are out together there should be no question about whether or not he/she is yours.

Random acts of romance are dead, but in all honesty they need to be resurrected. There's nothing like an out of the blue gift, or date, or a surprise at work/school to make the other person feel special as fuck. Don't wait for Valentine's Day to be romantic, that's lame. What does it hurt to send her flowers at work just to show her some appreciation? How much would he love it if you surprised him with a brazilian wax and new lingerie? I'm just saying....

Great sex is always a good way to show love. Although you should never half-ass the sex you have with someone you love, sometimes you gotta do a little extra to show them you aren't getting to comfortable. For example, there's nothing quite as porn-worthy as getting inebriated with your lover and indulging in a well needed, no holds bar, zero inhibitions type throw down in the sheets. Maybe you let him/her try something new, or maybe you try something new on them. Either way, nothing shows more love than boosting the sex game a little bit. Keep shit interesting, remind them why they wake up to you and not those other losers.

Food is also a genuine way to show love. We all gotta eat, and we all love food in some way or another. We all have favourites and things we don't get to treat ourselves to often enough. So naturally treating your significant other to a rare food experience is about as loving and thoughtful as it gets. Perhaps you take them to their favourite restaurant, perhaps you try new food together, perhaps you make them dinner.... perhaps they make you breakfast?

Being the catalyst of calm is about as real love can get for many of us. Our day to day lives are filled with bullshit and irritants that are often hard to shake when we arrive home. Being the soft spot for your lover is key in stressful times. Think about it: your man/girl had a long, tiresome day at work. They come home complaining and relaying all the troubles of the day with you, the stress just dragging them down as though gravity got turned up. Here you come with their favourite drink (my King likes Hennessy), or maybe a blunt (their favourite of course),  a massage and a nice sloppy round of head. Winner. They'll love you for it, and they remember why they're with you in the first place.


These are just a few of many effective ways to show love in 2013. Bottom line is to treat your lover how you yourself want to be treated. Do all the things you would love them to do, and remind them every day why you are the only person they should ever want to be with. Because otherwise..... what's the point?

Happy V Day y'all!

The Articulate Bitch

Love Notes

V Day is today ladies and gents, and in light of Love Notes tonight at Play Nightclub (Queen and Ossington) I've changed the title of Letters To My Him to .... uh... well.... Love Notes.

I sorted through the submissions and selected a few (of many). Sorry if yours doesn't get posted, truth is I received too many to publish them all. So here they are, in no particular order.... Love Notes.


First:

To My King, 

My one and only king. My king planned and prepared before he even knew he was; But patience is what i taught my self to hold. Seven years I held on preparing for the day he put away the baby game, the player game and became a man that found himself quickly to become, my king. His Queen I always was. For seven years he went through that trial  and error. Went from being my friend, my “ting”, a friend with a benefit? Wasn't so pleased with the last one, I could not except it. In my eyes, as his queen I shouldn’t have to. He was my best friend. Deep down we both knew the truth behind what we forcefully built, “The cover up” I called it. Said we were best friends but always ended the night with a passionate kiss. His exact words were “I couldn't resist”.

I was there through thick and thin. Loyalty even when I wasn’t loyal? Ya that’s my love life story. Hurt but still chose to stick around, cause I knew the kind of man I could compliment him to be, and I darn well knew I was going to do it successfully. Ambition, loyalty and Intellectual? Yes he had it all. A young man with a scorpion personality that I knew was only in this baby game just because no one earned his loyalty, his trust, they never gained patience or even bother to grow with him in every way possible, but I did.

His loyalty and his faithfulness, He decided to create footsteps with me I never even thought was possible to create. We are one, there are no halves, no such thing as a half. A  relationship is an understatement when it comes to describing the very set commitment I chose to be in. A believer in Christ?  Well he heard my prayers. He makes my temple, past, present and everything imaginable smile and the thought of him even being in my future makes me smile as well  The time we let progress only made us stronger. I am known as his wife, his queen his one and only. He only has to say it once; his body actions dose all the rest. One thing I don’t have confused I'm not observing through naive eyes. Referring to one of the blogs I read, The inner nigga in me is simply there, not to pull me back but to keep me in check. When the person you are with took time to work with the soft side and the nigga in you, then with the love they give decided to help you tame them both, so you can walk together side by side, mentally, physically and with every ounce of your soul keep them.

As long as it took, that’s exactly what you did. I didn't force you, the inner man in you always knew. Your heartbeat is heard in my chest. The inner man in you took your toys and replaced it with something we call reality and showed you how to open your eyes and use it. I Love every inch of your mind, every corner of your personality, every curve to your body and every step we take. Not side by side, but as the same foot steps. You are not my “other half” you are not my “soul mate” you are not my “man”, We’re simply each other with the same foot step, something I’ve always wanted, and needed to be.

Your Queen.

Second:

This guy. 

He is my "him".

He knows it and I know sometimes he abuses it. 

He knows I will be there with him, to motivate him, to listen to him and to fuck him. To enjoy dinners with him, watch movies with him, fall asleep on the phone with him. 

What he probably doesn't know, is that I knew he was my "him" a long time ago. When we first met three years ago, in fact. 

Though I never really showed it I expected him to know it. Deep down I had already envisioned us together 10 years down the road. We were living together, happy and in love and lust at the same damn time. 

That is where I hope to be. Till the sweet, sweet fantasies become a reality, I patiently work on me and he works on him, all the while, not neglecting us. 

We want to give each other the sun, moon and stars, but we, individually, have to reach them and possess them first. Then once we have acquired them, and only then, are we able to share them. It took me a while understand that notion because I was willing to accept him just as he was. But how could I, if even he wasn't content with himself. How was he supposed to believe that I was content with him? 

That being said, it's completely tolerable to appreciate somebody for who they are, but it is also crucial to encourage growth. It's good for him, for you and the bond between the two of you.

As he continues to aspire to be a better version of himself, and I do the same, it can only yield great results for us. 

.....

More Love Notes tonight as I sift through my email.... in the mean time enjoy the mini movie for the EVENT Love Notes, tonight at Play Nightclub (Queen and Ossington)...

Love Notes. The Inspired Life. from Shane Stirling on Vimeo.

The Articulate Bitch