It's finally February and Valentine's day is once again here. As important as it is to show some love on this designated day, it's perhaps more important to know how to show the person you're with some loveeeee and affection every day.
Many people are just not affectionate. They take the approach of treating their relationship like a job. They show up, go through the motions, do the bare minimum and clock out at the end of their shifts with about as much enthusiasm as it takes to watch paint dry. Affection is meant to show love to someone, in subtle ways. Small acts of love to remind someone that you are enjoying the time you spend with them, and that they make you happy.
Affection is a lost art. To be effective, it has to be tailored to the person you're showing it to. Most people aren't super mushy, or lovey-dovey, so the "traditional" concept of romance and affectionate behaviour may not necessarily be well received by the modern man or woman. Beyond the death of traditional romance, many people are not comfortable with PDA (public displays of affection) either, so an equivalent must be found to suit the needs of our modern day relationships. Here are a couple ways I've found are better suited for the 2013 man and woman's new love life.
In days long passed, it would have been commonplace and customary to write the man or woman of your current affections a love letter. You would have sat at your dimly lit desk and poured over mushy line after line until the pages were full and your heart had purged it's every inner emotion. Sealed with a kiss and a spritz of something sweet smelling, your letter would have been read by your sweetheart over and over and over again until their cheeks hurt from smiling. Then they would reciprocate and complete the same process. Nowadays, snail mail is dead, so too died the love letter. What do we have now? Well, we have texting. However informal the delivery and however un-romantic the writing process, this is what we are left with. Sending your boo a nice text, however long or short is a nice way to let them know that you're thinking about them. Don't lie, when your phone buzzes and you see it"s a text from your boo, you smile. That's exactly the point.
In public, showing affection can be a slippery slope. Too much, and you're one of those people. Not enough and you're lover may think you are afraid to claim them in public. Personally, I'm not a fan of PDA. I think certain things should be left for the privacy and intimacy that is reserved for just the two of you. You don't have to eat each others' faces in public to show some love in public, but you shouldn't be so obscure that others aren't sure that y'all are together either. Body language and eye contact says so much. At the very least, the physical distance between you should be small enough that another girl/guy won't try to scoop your sweetheart. I can't tell you how often I see dudes walk so far behind their girlfriends that other dudes see an open window to step to her. Then they want to get mad about it, like it's not their fault. There is a simple solution, don't be afraid or ashamed to BE with someone in public. You don't need to kiss or even hold hands if that's not your steelo, but at least have occasional physical contact that reflects an intimate relationship. When you are out together there should be no question about whether or not he/she is yours.
Random acts of romance are dead, but in all honesty they need to be resurrected. There's nothing like an out of the blue gift, or date, or a surprise at work/school to make the other person feel special as fuck. Don't wait for Valentine's Day to be romantic, that's lame. What does it hurt to send her flowers at work just to show her some appreciation? How much would he love it if you surprised him with a brazilian wax and new lingerie? I'm just saying....
Great sex is always a good way to show love. Although you should never half-ass the sex you have with someone you love, sometimes you gotta do a little extra to show them you aren't getting to comfortable. For example, there's nothing quite as porn-worthy as getting inebriated with your lover and indulging in a well needed, no holds bar, zero inhibitions type throw down in the sheets. Maybe you let him/her try something new, or maybe you try something new on them. Either way, nothing shows more love than boosting the sex game a little bit. Keep shit interesting, remind them why they wake up to you and not those other losers.
Food is also a genuine way to show love. We all gotta eat, and we all love food in some way or another. We all have favourites and things we don't get to treat ourselves to often enough. So naturally treating your significant other to a rare food experience is about as loving and thoughtful as it gets. Perhaps you take them to their favourite restaurant, perhaps you try new food together, perhaps you make them dinner.... perhaps they make you breakfast?
Being the catalyst of calm is about as real love can get for many of us. Our day to day lives are filled with bullshit and irritants that are often hard to shake when we arrive home. Being the soft spot for your lover is key in stressful times. Think about it: your man/girl had a long, tiresome day at work. They come home complaining and relaying all the troubles of the day with you, the stress just dragging them down as though gravity got turned up. Here you come with their favourite drink (my King likes Hennessy), or maybe a blunt (their favourite of course), a massage and a nice sloppy round of head. Winner. They'll love you for it, and they remember why they're with you in the first place.
These are just a few of many effective ways to show love in 2013. Bottom line is to treat your lover how you yourself want to be treated. Do all the things you would love them to do, and remind them every day why you are the only person they should ever want to be with. Because otherwise..... what's the point?
Happy V Day y'all!
The Articulate Bitch
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