Free Agents

Everyone knows I love using basketball metaphors to describe relationships. 

So I have this issue with people trying to stake claim or cuff things that they shouldn't. In this case: men. I am by no means saying you are not allowed to cuff a dude, however, certain females in certain situations need to chill. These girls are trying to have their cake and eat it too (I don't like that phrase because it makes no sense but you see where I'm going with this).

Bananas bitch number one is the greedy girl. This is a female who already has a roster of men but has a problem with anyone talking to anyone she is interested in. Like, they're all sharing you, you need to share them. You not about to tell me I can't holla just 'cause you're insecure about losing one of your starting players. 

Bananas bitch number two is the clinger. This bitch is holding on to hope that her ex will take her back. She's so convinced that they will reunite that it's automatically a beef ting if he hollas at you or vice versa. She will go so far as to contact you and tell you that they are still together/ they're in love/ a dog always comes home yadda yadda yadda. Problem is, sometimes they're right. But for he times they're not, you find yourself fucked over trying to talk to this nigga. 

Bananas bitch number three is the conflicted baby mother. This girl has no sense of direction. Poor thing. Her baby father still has some sort of hold on her, in whichever form,  and dictates so many of her actions and choices it's mind boggling. This girl, however, will try to talk to other dudes in an attempt to get over or get away from her baby father. She tries to cuff knowing that there's no way her baby father is letting it slide. It's either she thinks having a new nigga will make him jealous so she does it on purpose, or she really does try to live her life and he won't let her. Either way, you better believe the "new guy" is off limits. She's not letting anyone near him. She needs him. He reminds her that someone besides homeboy that knocked her up wants her. It's validation. 

Disclaimer: since I know most baby mothers are insane just chill and realize I'm not talking about all of you. I'm talking about the insane ones who will take offense to this whether it applies to them or not. Chill. I don't know you, so don't assume I'm talking about you. 

Thanks.

So anyways. Y'all delusional women need to smarten up. We already know there aren't enough decent dudes to go around. If you fucked up your situation with the one you had don't be mad that a next bitch wants him. Matter of fact be as mad as you want but be mad at yourself, bitch. Maybe it just wasn't/isn't the right person for you. LET THAT SHIT GO. Move the fuck on and stop marking your territory on community dick. 

The Articulate Bitch