Breakfast After Nut

Since my twitter went into uproar...

First of all, the reason I didn't put this on twitter is because all the people involved follow me. When you finish reading you'll understand. I feel the need to say "don't judge me" but I know y'all have done the same or worse so quite frankly I don't give a damn. 

So one night I'm home chillin. His nigga hits me up to go check him. Now, I'm not one to travel for dick, but I'll damn sure travel for head (Yeah, I know. That's where the don't judge me part comes in). If you saw his lips you'd understand. But I digress...

So I fake blow him off, loaft like a shit head in my house doing all kinds of fuckery (I even washed, blow dried, flat ironed and shave my head... Shaves everything else too... Shwing!!!!) I was soooo bout wasting time. So it starts getting late, I finally quit the game and tell him I'm coming. 

Some time later I get to where he's at. It's his friends house (see, again... Don't judge me). Smoke blah blah blah  blah blaaaahhh.... So pow bam thank you ma'am this dude is the excellent dick I assumed he'd be and head game was .... I don't know if I have a sufficient word but I may have blacked out at one point or another. All I know is at one point I realized the sun was coming up. 

So hours later, I get some sick morning sex the nut was un-fucking-believable. Yadda yadda dude tries to make breakfast but fucks up the French toast and I'm the French toast queen so I step in. Let's remember his homie about to become homieS are around. 

Now I just wanted breakfast. But this nigga wants me to pull a waitress suzie and bring him his food. 

-____-

At this point I'm practically on a hunger strike cuz I'm just soooo not bout this thing he's doing whatever it is. Hunger pains fam. I'm conducting a domestic protest and starving myself in the name of feminism and real nigganess. 

Hours LITERALLY later, I'm like "fuck this. I have shit to do." so I cave and bring his royal fucking highness his food, box mine and cut. 

I'M STILL SALTY ABOUT IT! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

My point is this: we fuck, you owe me a nut. There, I said it. I nut, I don't owe you breakfast unless we gooooo togetha. And most DEFINITELY not when your homies are around and it's the first time we fucked. *sigh*

Okay readers I'm gonna wait for the backlash now. There you have it. 

The Articulate Bitch