Ladies, you ever fuck with a nigga and don't find out he's a bum until its too late? Well here is yet another embarrassing story from my vaults. Enjoy, and don't judge me. I'm doing better, I promise.
So when I was in high school and light skin niggaz were poppin', I used to talk to this real cute light skin nigga. I'm talkin' real crush like. He played me to the left a couple times so I stopped fuckin' with him.
Years later we randomly meet up in the old hood (I was having a cute day, trust me) and he got this stuck on stupid face lookin' at me, talmbout "you look so different than I remember. You still look good though blah blah blah,".
So, remembering how he played me before, I was in no rush to end up in the same situation as before. Not to mention I wasn't feelin' light skin niggaz at all the second time around. But not wanting to miss out on something that was possibly meant to be, I entertained a little chitter chatter.
Before I get into the real shit, know this: nigga had a job and a vehicle, yeah he still lived at home but 2 outta 3 ain't bad.
So one day he comes to check me. Takes me out, nothing hectic we killed 2 pounds of wings and a couple beers. So I roll a blunt (my crib, my blunt, my weed) we smoke, it's getting late so y'all know where my head is at.
Wam bam thank you ma'am, dick was great and I'm back to smokin', naked in my sheets bumpin' Diplomatic Immunity. It's Thursday and I'm expecting Trap back home any minute so we can head to Wetbar. I look over and notice this nigga is hella comfortable smokin' my spliff n shit.
Trap calls me tellin' me she's on her way home, I say "cool, I'll see you soon," and make it mad obvious I got places to go that night. Nigga still chillin'. I'm thinkin' "whatever, he'll probably leave when I'm leaving, worst case scenario,".
I hop in the shower, then hop out. This nigga still chillin'. Now I'm thinking this nigga wanna stay over, and trust me that was NOT happening so I ask him. Where he parked. He tells me he didn't drive. Cool. I live downtown, lots of people prefer to park at a subway and take the train into the city. No prob. But then, he asks me, straight faced, looking me in my eyes: "So yo, can you send me some bus fare?"
....
....
....
Yeah. Nigga was sittin' on my bed in wearin' a goddamn Louis Vuitton belt and had the NERVE.... Lemme stop.
I swear to you, I didn't know what to do it say. I wanted to laugh, screwface, cuss him out... All kinds. So me, being the asshole I am, I tell him I can't help him. Knowing damn well I have about 2 bills in my purse. I sat there and watched him sweat tryin' to figure out how he was gettin' home.
Got dressed, did my makeup, did my hair, Trap walks in (I had already texted her the story) and she jumps in the shower. So not wanting to keep this dude in my crib any longer I hand him a five without even a hint of a smile and show him to the door.
Yup. Cry for him.
The Articulate Bitch
funniest shit everrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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