Greetings from Singledom. It's already new years and I began to ponder what another year in Singledom would bring for ya girl. There are plenty of ways to handle extended bout of time without steady sex and passionate arguments. Now some of these are from personal experience and others are ones that I have witnessed. You will be able to identify someone you know somewhere on this list. It may not be to the extreme I state.... But, well, this is no fun unless it's dramatic. Leggo.
1. The "he ain't shit! I want vengeance!" bitch: self explanatory. She's out to get this dude. She gone do all kinds of reckless, irresponsible, potentially irreversible and overall annoying shit too. This bitch is about to get creative and do some shit you ain't never heard of. I've done this to a lower degree of crazy. Maybe a level one vengeance. Minor shit like flirting with his best friend. A crazier chick woulda straight fucked him. I'm just saying.
2. The "man, niggaz ain't shit" bitch: okay, so homeboy fucked up majorly and now every man on this planet must suffer the wrath of yet another woman scorned. You ask for her number she chews ur head off. Flirting with her, even innocently is grounds for a neck rolling, finger snapping barrage of bitter bullshit you really didn't sign up for. This bitch is actually so miserable she prevents OTHER PEOPLE from enjoying relationships of any sort. She's now (all of a sudden) an expert on why YOUR shit ain't gone work. All of a sudden shes doctor fucking Phil. I've had one of these friends. Even with dudes I was just fucking she always had a comment on their behavior. Regardless of how many times I told her " it doesn't matter. We're just fucking. I don't care." she would always say some negative bullshit. "well all he's gonna do is fuck you til you're feeling him then drop you. " little did she know. Smh. Cock blocking ass hoe. Fellas know this girl as the bitter-cock-blocking friend. They can never have a smooth route to any of her friends' pussy because she is literally the troll under the fucking bridge. Dudes end up having to find a friend to take one for the team when she's around. Smh.
3. The Lonely Girl: most girls who are like this have never really been without a boyfriend. They've either always bounced from dude to dude or they've been in a long term relationship for a hot minute. Either way, this poor girl hates being alone and won't let anyone forget it. See, whereas some girls only get Lonely Girl Syndrome right after a break up, this girl has stage 5 LGS and will never be cured until she finds a new man. This is that girl who tweets shit like live song lyrics and break up music. This chick is forever changing her bbm status to include broken hearts and her pic to something stupid like one of those heinous tumblr pics with Wiz Khalifa quoting some sort of relationship doctrine. Bullshit.
4. The Newly Out Lesbian/Bi-sexual: these females are the scum beneath my shoe. They have a bad experience, a bad break up, a traumatic encounter, or WHATEVER, wake up the next morning, see a few attractive females on their social networking and decide "fuck niggaz, I like pussy now." I don't even know what else to say about these girls beyond how stupid they are for thinking that being homosexual is a choice. Nicki Minaj got these hoes feeling adventurous. I banged girls because I like doing so. It wasn't an experiment, it was deliberate and intentional. I didn't do it to scorn the male species (I still prefer them actually) I did it because the chick was cute and i wanted to see her naked and do bad things. Period. Girls need to let go of the fake gay shit. It's so tired and ur not fooling anybody.... Especially if you won't eat pussy.
5. The Forever Alone Girl: I promised. Myself I would t post that horrible face from tumblr for this although I really wanted to. This particular girl is the most depressing. All she does is simp and whine about how alone she is and how she'll never find a man who will love her and blaaaaaah blaaaah blaaaaah. Shutthefuckup *juicy j vc*. First of all, most people run out of sympathy for this girl real quick. After a while her complaints become tiresome. No one wants to hear it because ol' girl has been complaining about the same thing since 19 how long. And so long as she's complaining she will be single. The concept of which she just can't comprehend, which is why she's still single.
Bottom line for any of these females, you have to let the fuck go. No man is gonna deal with you holding grudges against him for something the last dude did. You put yourself on a fat track to having the next dude stop fucking with you early in the game. Think about it.
The Articulate Bitch
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