The Death of Safe Sex

Remember when you were in high school and sex was a new concept? When finger fucking was still fashionable, and sucking dick or eating pussy were cause for social ridicule? Remember when you still went to health class and the use of condoms was stressed and repeated? When you learned every disgusting symptom of the venereal diseases and were borderline terrified of pregnancy?

I remember those days. I remember when there was no way you would even take your pants off without the presence of a rubber. Nowadays, your lucky if homeboy has one because you damn sure didn't buy any. And most dudes I know, ain't stopping shit for a store run. When did we become so daring with our sexual encounters? When did we stop caring about the consequences? When did WE kill safe sex?

It's mind boggling. We have all the knowledge in the world at our fingertips and still we ignore what is so basic in precautions. I haven't met a girl in the last two years who was on the pill. I haven't met a dude who didn't proudly admit to banging girls bareback on a regular basis. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? 

All over twitter, the general consensus on condoms seems to be that they are obsolete. Dudes proudly state their decision to never use condoms. And girls proudly tell us their tales of rising body counts and sexual conquests. Times change, but who ever thought this would be our new position (no pun intended) on safe sex. 

What confuses me is this: as it stands (and this is very general) girls are more promiscuous than ever, dudes are using contraceptives far less often, most first time parents are under the age of 25, and barely anyone is in a committed relationship. So where does that leave us? Relying on free health care to foot the bill for STI tests and medication, as well as abortions(yes, Canada's free health care PAYS for abortions). It leaves these crazy girls with the perfect opportunity to trap a dude with a child he probably doesn't want with a girl he doesn't plan to stay with. It leaves our economy to take care of young single mothers and their unplanned children.  It leaves young men tangled in court with a spiteful, bitter chick over child support. It leaves non-parents like myself in a position where we are more likely to become step parents before parents ourselves. 

The saddest part is that we know all this. We see it everyday. We know people who are going through it. But does that stop us? Of course not. We remain 'too caught up in the moment for condoms' or falling for the good old 'I'll just pull out'. 

Y'all know I keep it all the way funky with y'all. I don't exclude myself from the shit I talk about. I'm no saint in the bedroom. I have fallen for the pull out champs too. I've been in those "sorry, I just couldn't pull out" aka the oopsie daisy nut situations.  Thankfully though, my inner voice has brought me to sex health clinics for testing after and to the pharmacy for Plan B pills just in case. As a female, I gotta make sure I'M good. 

For one, I haven't met a dude I would consider having a child with. WITH. That's the word we should be using. How many times do you hear "I'm having a baby FOR him. I'd have a baby FOR him. I had a baby FOR him,"? FOR, implies that we are handling this shit ourselves. Sadly, most of the time we are. My mother told me to always remember that children are a woman's responsibility by default. We carry them and birth them, we are automatically responsible for that new life. The dude? Let's face it, he is only involved by CHOICE or by COURT ORDER to be responsible. 

I don't know the current statistics on STI rates, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were much higher that when I was in high school. These things terrify me. I'm pussy paranoid. If even the smallest thing is off, I fly to a clinic. My doctor is test-happy so she doesn't mind but she makes fun of me all the time for "taking full advantage of OHIP (free healthcare)".

Look, the bottom line is simple. Make wiser decisions in bed. Condoms are far cheaper than children, and more convenient than clinic appointments and pharmacy visits for prescriptions. Ladies, that baby won't make him stay with you. Fellas, child support ain't cheap. 

We all know the things we do and don't want. So knowing everything we do, we need to do better as young people. 

The Articulate Bitch