After another night of engaging convo with my partner in crime (figuratively)Pinky, I find myself frantically typing away with my thumbs again.
Every day we hear women saying the same things; "there are no good men anymore.... Why can't I find a man?.... All the good ones are gay or taken." (the last one, remarkably true in many cases). So after years of hearing the same complaint, is it so far off to believe the theory? Are all the good men really taken?
My mother would scold me like a child for discussing this, "You're only 23! Who the fuck cares?!", well Mom, I care. Of course I know that I don't need another person in my life to validate me or complete me. Of course I know that keeping my own life as a priority is key. Of course I know not to depend on anyone else for my own happiness. Hopefully the lovely folks reading this know the same about themselves too (and if your mom didn't tell you, I'm telling you now. Believe it). I was always told that you can't love anyone else until you love yourself. Well I've been loving myself for quite some time now, I'm looking to lighten the load just a tad, ya feel me?
I can chant positive mantras to myself all day long, but all this self-affirmation ain't landing me, or any other female, a decent boyfriend. Look around you. We witness even the 'happiest' couples go through serious issues. I'll be honest, it does nothing to restore faith in the concept of relationships.
Worse is now young couples have children in their mix. So the immaturity of age, mixed with the irresponsibility of inexperience with just a dash of "fuck monogamy" creates a volatile mixture of fuckery. There is no escape! We've got girls thinking children will make dudes stay in relationships with them. Dudes getting pissed when one of their 4 baby momma's gets a boyfriend (even though he isn't with any of them). And a whole ratchet concoction of misguided bullshit that leaves me wondering why decent people (men and women alike) are not able to find someone decent like themselves to be with.
What are we EXPECTED to do? Sit here and pretend we're not worth better than the people we've already suffered? Are we supposed to just settle DOWN? Personally, I don't believe anyone should settle for less than what they want. My manager told me one day "never waste even a MOMENT of your life". Now, think to yourself, you beautiful person you, what is the number one thing you said to yourself when you left a relationship? "I WASTED SO MUCH TIME!"
Seriously. I think it's fear. We've been through these relationships. They've ended badly and we don't want to go through it again. Then we witness the atrocities in other peoples' relationships and vow "that will never be me". So where does that leave us 'decent people'? We know from experience what we have to offer in a relationships. We've learned enough to change our ways for the better. And yet here we all are, single, bitter, angry and afraid yet lonely.
We don't want to be hurt again. Fair. No one does. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. Of course, this is another situation where I will have to take my own advice. But bwoooooooy!!!! I'm deadass afraid. No lies. Positive vibes for us all as we embark on this scary-as-fuck adventure together. Cheers to decent people. May happiness find us all. LOL.
The Articulate Bitch
I really enjoy reading your blog, your take on the various topics are very compelling. I love your unapologetic blatant honesty!
ReplyDeleteI’m one of those decent person with a lot to offer, but have found it difficult to find someone to settle down with myself. It really does seem like all the good guys are taken. It’s actually quite depressing, I’m only 23 and feel like giving up on the idea of ever finding the “one”. At this point I refuse to entertain anyone that I don’t see a prospective future with, again because I don’t want to “waste time” when clearly it isn’t going to go anywhere. Another thing where does one even meet these men of quality that don’t seem to exist where I am?
Just a thought to engage your audience in conversation about your post, perhaps you should allow for an anonymous comment positing option rather than the current one requiring a profile. The ability for your viewers to speak anonymously will increase the amount of comments and preserve honesty when posting.
Keep up the good work, and good luck in finding your treasure!