Daddy Issues

Daddy Issues

I feel like I should begin by telling y'all not to judge but if you haven't figured out that this blog isn't the place for that shit by now... Maybe you need to direct yourself to media take out.

Promiscuity and callousness clearly aren't new phenomena. For years people (men mostly because thy dictate the double standard, thanks so much guys) have passed judgement on promiscuous females or heartless women. The main diagnosis for these ailments of the female psyche? "Daddy Issues".

I'm gonna speak on this from my personal experience. I'm not going to attempt to place these conclusions in every female.

What exactly are "daddy issues" and why are they such a detrimental part of a girl's life? Well, daddy issues can be witnessed through the dynamic of the relationship between daughter and father. Our fathers are our first examples of men. Little girls love their daddies. Daddy issues range in severity and type. Some women have grown up completely lacking a father figure, some grew up with a bad example of a man, and some grew up with a ghost of a man who just did the bare minimum but was never truly present.

Father figures are a vital part of life. They provide the guideline for what a real man is supposed to be. They teach their sons how to be men and teach their daughters what type of man is worthy of her. They are placed on a pedestal and looked to for guidance and security. When these father figures are absent or inadequate, the result is a daddy issue.

In regards to promiscuous females or HOES as we call them, having daddy issues creates a void. This subconscious need to feel loved, wanted, needed, appreciated by a man. So these females jump from one dick to the next seeking carnal male attention at all costs in hopes of finding the missing part of them. Validation. Men often have no idea how much the things they say and do affect us as women. A girl grows up with daddy issues it's either she's seeking the father she never had or replacing the excuse for a man she did have as a father. Sex is physical, yes, but in those moments however physical in nature, there's a need being filled. Now she is being needed by him, he wants her, she damn near feels loved. Is it backward? Yeah, probably but it's reality. Will hoes admit it? Nope. Probably not.

Heartless females are very similar in their actions but their INTENTIONS are very different. Theses females have been hurt deeply, and rather than seek the replacement or man to fill the void, they seek only instant gratification from punishing the male species by means of meaningless sexual encounters. You may be lost but allow me to explain. Shorty has her daddy issues, her motivation is not sadness or inadequacy, it's rage and vengeance. She wants men to feel as she does. She seeks to hurt them by inflicting the same pain she feels, on them. She takes complete control of her sexuality, which would be liberating and empowering if it wasn't for the fact she is just covering up her issues.

Daddy issues don't ever end at fathers. More often than not they are prolonged and often made worse by other men. Men females choose subconsciously believing they are better than the father who hurt them, when many times they are the exact same. So what happens? These girls get hurt again, and again and again. They become bitter, often times they lose their self esteem, they settle for the bottom of the barrel believing that is all they deserve.

It's pretty terrible. I have daddy issues my damn self. My father was a great father, but not the best example of a man. Multiple women, disrespectful behavior, and a self righteous attitude. I started out with the emotional vulnerability of the promiscuous female, seeking a better example of a man to have in my life. After a few heartbreaks, I became the heartless female. I treated dudes like the bitches they spoke so degradingly about. I punished the emotions of men and made them feel as small and insignificant as men had made me and PLENTY of other women feel. I flipped the double standard and reclaimed myself for myself. However, in the process, I desensitized myself, put my guards up and became brutally honest and blunt, sparing no feelings in the way. I rolled over niggaz like a bulldozer and never once looked back with even an ounce of regret or remorse. They never did when it was me so I owed them no kindness. I was shockingly successful. It was so satisfying.

That kind of female I had become began to scare me. She felt nothing. I depressed myself because I was unable to love, therefore unable to be loved in return. Luckily for me I could see the errors of my ways before my body count got too high and my emotions went completely numb. I pulled myself out of that hole pause. I had so much rage in me. I was so angry. My life began to reflect that and to me it was unacceptable.

Now, I'm a very different person. I'm not attempting to punish anyone, though I still come across heartless at times I've learned to tailor my love to suit only the person who is the object of my affection. Heartlessness became selectiveness. So far so good but I still have those heartless tendencies that make people think I'm "acting like a nigga".

Point is this: as a woman you can't go through life blaming men for everything. Yes they do fucked up shit, all the time. Yes they hurt us, but not forgiving them and MOVING ON hurts only US. We lose the ability to love purely the way we are supposed to. Bitterness, sadness, rage, depression... Let all of it go. Forgive those who have hurt you and forgive yourself for holding onto it for so long.

Live and love.

The Articulate Bitch