Top Ten Most Swag: Greatest Feelings

1. The pee after sex - I dunno what it is that makes this the most satisfying piss you can ever take but my god it's amazing. To the point I sit there for a moment after to savour the feeling.

2. Taking off your underwear/bra- after a long day of being tightly held in and constrained by undergarments, it's literally the first thing I do when I walk through my door.

3.Taking out your ponytail - females and dudes with long hair know. After a while you feel this dull tightness that makes you feel like your just had a face lift. Pulling that hair tie out of your hair releases all kinds of tension a you let your hair fall. Bliss.

4.Scratching your head- you know when u find that one sweet spot, and the scratch is so good you close your eyes and bask in the greatness of the itch.

5. The moment ur done puking when ur drunk- the good old throw and go. You've drank yourself stupid and the night is still young. The bottle isnt finished yet and you're not trying to look like a pussy turning down drinks. But... Oh no... Run quickly because you've got to puke! You make love to the porcelain goddess for a moment and suddenly feel a million times better. Back to the bottle! Time to drink some more!

6.Digging your ear with a bobby pin- okay this one is real yaadie (not exclusively Jamaican). Island people know exactly what I mean. No, you're not supposed to put foreign objects in your ear, and u certainly shouldn't push too deep (pause) but digging in your ear with a bobby pin and making that scratching noise with your throat is just so satisfying.

7. Morning head - nothing like waking up to that wet and warm below the covers. Pure greatness.

8. Getting whatever it was out of your eye - you sit there and rub away (pause) trying to get the mystery fuck shit out of your eye. No success. You give up until it starts to drive you crazy again and you start rubbing the shit out of your eye. Finally you blink and, could it be? Yes! It's finally gone!!!!

9.taking off your heels - I hate heels. Well, I love how they look I just hate how they feel. I rarely wear them but when I do and I get home, there is no greater feeling than taking them off and placing your foot on flat ground again.

10. Orgasm - if you've never had one then just get out. The best of the feelings. Ugh.

The Articulate Bitch