Nothing's Wrong Except Everything: Trust Issues

I see and read and hear a lot on a day to day basis. Whether it's out in the real world (I hate that place), or online on various sites and social networks. It often baffles me how people can witness the same things I do and still have faith in those who carry on with questionable behavior. With fuck shit galore, invading our lives at every turn, how do y'all trust some people? Here are some people I constantly have my suspicions about, look at sideways and otherwise just do not trust.

1. Niggaz who take topless pics laying in bed. I dunno man, there is something just so effeminate about this pose that sets off multiple alarms in my mind. You mean to tell me you laid in your bed, fixing your lips, squinting your eyes just right? Worse is when there are accessories involved. The fitted cap and chain combo being my favourite. Sir, why are you topless in bed with a hat on, with your chain laid just so on your naked chest, licking your lips so they appear moist? That sound heterosexual to you? The funniest part is knowing that these fellas had a mini photoshoot in bed until they got it just right. I don't trust these niggaz. It just looks so frankie.

2. Neopolitan females. I call them this because it seems like they can't choose their flavor. If you creep their instagram it's one big cocktail of confusion. They've got the loving mother pictures with their children ,which are lovely and adorable. Then there are the club photos, a few too many for someone who has a child to care for. Then of course the classic half naked/lusty thirst trap photos. All this jumbled and tossed together on one account. I'm all for mothers maintaining their sexy, and of course the occasional outing away from your child is perfectly acceptable, but everything in moderation sweetheart. Think about how it appears to other people who don't know you. Those who have no idea your relationship with your child. You could be an amazing mother, but you'll always look like a waste gyal trying to get dicks hard in one pic, taking a bottle of goose to the head in another, then cradling your sleeping child in the next. I don't trust it.

3. Ghetto folks with brand name clothes. I don't trust y'all one fuckin bit. When I say brand name, I mean high fashion brand name. Fashion houses. Shit that isn't even in English. How do you expect anyone to believe you spent the money to be wearing the shit if you're so damn hood rat you haven't even extended your vocabulary enough to learn to pronounce the shit you're wearing? Then on top of it all you claim you got it through "a link", as we say in the dot. Oh. Really? Is that so? Y'all so backward. What's worse is these people will try so hard to convince you their shit is authentic despite the fact they paid a fraction of the retail price. All of a sudden and four-figure price tag is down to three, and how could we not believe it's real when the back of the van it's being sold out of was so clean? Niggaz out here saying "Ayo I got my Her-Meez belt for a bill-twenny b,". You can't be fucking serious. Darling, you can keep that her-meez trash, Hermès costs quite a bit more. I don't trust you niggaz.

4. Internet pimps/drug dealers/hustlers are another group I refuse to believe. I dunno who in their right mind, who makes dirty money, would publicly advertise what it is they do. Dropping hints and cryptic subliminals is one thing, that shit really isn't obvious. But there are dudes who make the shit so obvious you gotta hit 'em with the twitter eulogy (unfollow, block & report as spam) to take the heat away from your damn self. These dudes are so caught up in looking cool they forget pigs have twitter. Hot asses. Joke is, anyone ACTUALLY making money would never risk all that paper over public opinion on the Internet, so all these braggers are just pump faking. It wouldn't even be worth pigs' time to investigate these fools based on their tweets. They stupid asses gonna get caught slippin in real life on some dumb shit. I won't ever trust those niggaz.

5. Girls who fall in love with every dude that gives them a title. First of all, I highly doubt these females are truly in love with all these dudes, but they do everything to make it seem that way to their followers. They do the MOST I swear. The ride-or-die'esque tweetgrams and photo captions. The excessive "HIM" tweets. The picstitches and abusive use of valuable instagram feed space with kissy pics. Yeah, I might sound bitter being that I'm single, but believe me, plenty of people in relationships are equally as annoyed. Couples with time do nothing but shake their heads, because although they too share their happiness online, they keep it selective and sparse. Here you come all giddy about this new relationship and how in love you are, when just a few months ago you were riding or dying for the last dude. And the dude before that, and the dude before that. Who the fuck is gonna take you seriously? You doing too much shorty. I don't trust you.

Yet another installment of fuck shit I witness day to day on the good old Internet. Each day is another chance for folks to do questionable shit to annoy me, so stick around. I'm sure there will be more.

The Articulate Bitch