Club Chronicles pt.15 - Meet Stacie

You've seen me tweet it. It's in my bios on my social networks. People who don't know me personally think its my real name. I'm of course speaking on the mystery that is Stacie.

Stacie began with me and my lovely clubbing girlfriends. We were talking about how cool it would be if we were an all girl rock band. How ignorant and obnoxious we could act if we were famous like that. Now, we can't play instruments or sing but the concept of Stacie was born that day.

Time after time I meet people who ask me about Stacie. Who is she? What does her name mean? Why Stacie? Here it is. Your official introduction to the world of Stacie.

Stacie, by definition, is a professional, couch jumping, Hennessy drinking, partying mother fucker.

A Stacie is the upper echelon of party females. Stacie doesn't wait in lines, but remains gracious and polite at all times. She doesn't pay for her drinks unless she wants to show you she can... Because she can.

Stacie won't be caught dead acting slack on the dance floor with some random sweaty dude. She's probably jumping on an alcohol soaked couch in the VIP, spilling her drink on her shoes, rapping along to trap music.

Stacie shocks the club when she dresses up, but always stunts when she dresses down. She doesn't need to wear a short dress and heels to impress the masses. She knows it's a dangerous feat to stand on a couch in heels. Safety first.

Stacie does not drink vodka. She's a Hennessy girl to her core. Coco told Stacie not to talk to a dude unless he buys her a bottle. She may still throw a smile and polite convo your way if you pour her a shot or two of the Jesus juice though.

Drunk Stacie comes in different forms. She's confident, ignorant, arrogant and sometimes obnoxious. She's sometimes uncoordinated, and talks a lotta shit but she's never an ugly, sloppy mess. She's never rowdy, confrontational or argumentative.

Stacie goes to the club to have fun and enjoy the company of like-minded people. She is not there to impress anyone. She's not there to draw the thirst of men. Stacie is about the party. Stacie IS the party.

Stacie already exists, so you can't BE Stacie, but if you party like her, you're very Stacie-esque. And Stacie fucks with that.

The Articulate Bitch