I'm old. Well, kind of. I'm 25. I still remember when flip phones were cool and you recorded your own ring tones. When MSN was our instant messenger of choice, Facebook wasn't popular yet, and relationships were judged by how much time you spent with or on one another.
Remember those days? When you knew you were into each other because you spent HOURS on the phone, saying nothing. When you put their name in hearts in your MSN screen name. You had his school sweater, he had those corny dog tags with your picture etched into the metal. People knew you were together because they saw you spend time. Valentines day, anniversaries and birthdays were always celebrated and no one had ever heard of a side chick.
Oh, to be young again. Well, young again and with less technology. Seems to me the basis by which we relate in our relationships has changed greatly. Now it's less about how you relate to each other and more about how well you convey your love via social media. Some things I understand, they're just updated ways of doing the same old things but some logics quite simply escape me.
1. Couple Pics - these have and will always be the cornerstone of flaunting your relationship. See before, you'd have those photo booth joints hung up somewhere like your locker or in your notebook. Physical copies posted in private places. Cool. Then we started sharing them online. Still cool, except now there was no telling who could see them. Fast forward to now when "if you didn't put it on instagram, it never happened,". You got a man? If he's not hugged up with you on your IG, he must not really be yours. Logic.
2. Dates - I can confidently say I don't recall going on many dates. Honestly, when I was young I had to be home at a certain time and boys' allowance couldn't take us much farther than dessert at Cafe Demetres (daps to you if you know bout that spot). As I got older I went on a few, but never announced it or discussed my date with anyone other than my home girls or my mom. Now? Well, once again, you've got to IG the meal or you never ate it. Fuck enjoying yourself, honey. You've got to keep a mental count of how much he's spending because twitter says it ain't shit unless it's at least a $200 date. That's right. We're conducting dates according to standards set by people we don't even know.
3. Creeping - I hate to say it but this is probably the most useful yet most detrimental update to relationships these days. While yes, creeping can help you catch a disrespectful lover, it can also make you obsessive and borderline stalker. As women, I firmly believe we know deep down if our man is doing dirt or not. Some of us have actual reasons to support these thoughts and other women are just crazy and suspicious. But one thing remains true: he's lazy and sloppy to get caught so easily (and it is easy) on social media, when there are plenty of private avenues to conduct this behaviour. Yes, creeping is insecure behaviour, but lest we forget how many times a cheater has been caught by fucking up on social media. Consider the alternative; probably be her showing up places following you around... In person.
4. Staking Claim - Rings are for married folk and the abstinent. We may not be writing our names on notebooks anymore but we (usually females) certainly stake our claim online. Partially because it's a jungle out here and partially because we love telling people that we're taken. So yes, his name is in our bio or we put little heart, diamond ring and crown emojis up so folks know we're head over heels. Then we sit online and tweet relentlessly about "him". While dudes stake their claim far more subtly and privately 'cause you know.... Side chick may be creeping.
5. Gifts - thoughtful gifts? Forget it. These gifts gotta go up on instagram so people can google the cost and nod in silent, insignificant approval. It doesn't matter if you got him an original vinyl copy of Reasonable Doubt because he's a die hard Jay Z fan, them Jordans came out on Saturday and you didn't cop them for him. And while it was nice you got her a ballet slipper charm for her Tiffany charm bracelet because she aced her last audition, you past David's and those new Loubs to get to Tiffany's. Get it? No? I don't either.
Like I said, I'm old. I'm a hopeless romantic who believes in privacy because in this day and age EVERYBODY has something to say. I don't need outside approval of how I behave in my relationship. I don't care if you never see the gifts he buys me or if you wonder why we have no pics on instagram. I could care less if my name is in his bio or if our dates cost $200. You know what I care about? Him. Me. Us. I could throw up a pic of myself and any nigga on the net, wouldn't make him my man. I could post pics of expensive shoes and pricy meals, wouldn't mean I was getting spoiled. It might be what it looks like, then again, it really might not be. I would rather you see nothing and wonder, than to show you anything simply to be validated by public opinion.
But that's just me.
The Articulate Bitch
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