What better way to celebrate my birthday than by returning to my readers? It's October 12th 2013 and a bitch just hit that good old quarter century milestone. I'm an older ting now zeen?
I decided that a landmark such as this should start on the right note. So I thought I might impart some wisdom I've gained in my few but many years of life. Some things I have only learned recently and others are lessons we are taught before we can tie our shoes and correctly tell time. Here are my top 25 lessons learned by 25.
1. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Seems so straight forward but we forget everyday how important it is. Regardless of whatever characteristics or realities we feel separate us from other people we often lose sight of the fact that we are all, in essence the same. We all have struggled and fears, victories and joys. We all experience up an downs in life that have such effects on us they can change us permanently, both for better and worse. That being said, whether we interact only in passing or as close companions in life, treating each other with the same basic graces we would expect for ourselves has become nothing more than a fairy tale. No one holds doors open, says please or thank you, gives up seats for old ladies or helps the blind cross the street. I mean, I'm not expecting people to become saints over night but honestly let's find our basic manners.
2. Attitude is everything. The whole positivity wave is everywhere these days. Everyone becomes a philosopher when the topic arises and I suppose there are plenty worse things to be obsessed with on such a wide scale. But truly, having the right attitude can drastically change the outcome of many situations. How many times have you over reacted or said something you regretted, having the situation become wildly more inflated than it ever had to be? Or how many times have you fallen into a habit of feeling like shit and watched as your life just past you by, making you feel more like shit? That last one has been me SO many times in life. I'm far more emotion-driven than I care to admit so I get into these major slumps sometimes when everything just sort of, stops. I feel crappy so I don't feel like doing anything productive. Then nothing good happens so I feel more crappy. Vicious cycle. You gotta find a way to pull yourself out of those fucked up hamster wheel modes we humans get into. Life is both too long AND too short. Grow up, put on some red lipstick and your big girl shoes and get back to life.
3. Social media is a relationship killer. I had to add this because the reality is, I live on social media! I get my news, my music, my weather, my fashion, and sometimes even my food from social media. Shouldn't be surprising that we meet people we date there too. That being said, the one thing that we should never use social media for is our relationships. Relationships are the one thing reserved for just two people. There are subtle things, inside jokes, knowing glances and private moments that other people should never be privy to. These sites bring out the ugly in people. I am and have never been an exception to this. On TDotWire my boyfriend's side piece sent me a message. On Facebook I found out the guy I was talking to was still with his "ex". MySpace ... Well no, MySpace was never that cool....... but Twitter is where I first got in trouble for creeping and my him planted tweets to make me angry. Yes, social networks are great for many things but for relationships..... Not so much.
4. Never mix business and pleasure. Money and feelings don't mix. If you've ever loaned or borrowed money from a friend or tried to get into business with a lover, you know what this is about. Some people turn into strange beings when money gets involved. Not everyone knows the value of money, not the amount, but the value of the work taken to make it. Spoiled children think everything will always be given to them because, big or small, nothing has value to them. They are never satisfied with what they have because they feel they can and will always be GIVEN more without lifting a finger. So they think everything will always be that easy. What a rude awakening they are in for. The same goes for grown folks. Some folks don't know the value of money so you can't expect them to know they have obligations to fulfill before they get it. Reading these people had become so key in finding people I want to work with and do great things with in the future. Thankfully I'm getting the hang of it.
5. Good riddance to bad rubbish! Never feel bad about trimming the fat in your life. Sometimes we just need to declutter our lives and get rid of the negative forces. ESPECIALLY relationships! Always remember that the person who holds that sweet spot in your heart and warm place in your bed should inspire only the best thoughts and dearest feelings. They should be your rock, your saving grace. If at any point that changes into resentment, anger, fear or disappointments which can not be resolved, you as a person owe it to yourself to leave. We often think that toughing it out is the right thing to do, and while quitting cold turkey and giving up at the drop of a hat is ill advised, so is torturing yourself. Sometimes your efforts will simply not be enough. You can talk til you're blue in the face, they just don't hear you. You try guiding them in the right direction, they just won't go. You fight tooth and nail against giving up on them because you care, but it doesn't work. You've done all you could, and are making yourself miserable trying anymore. So you throw in the towel, perhaps for the better of both of you. Expect backlash, hurt people hurt people. They will have things to say, they may share you secrets and weaknesses but always remember that they, too have their own. So see lesson #1.
There's the first 5 lessons, next Saturday I'll share some more. If you've got your own you'd like me to add tweet me @ ArticulateBxtch #25Lessons
The Articulate Bitch
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