Monday, 25 March 2013

Reasons and Excuses

Thought it may be a good idea to have a little correspondence with my lovely readers to keep y'all updated and in the loop with what's going on with ya bish....

Firstly, yes the relaunch was to be on march 13th. However, as I have learned many times before when relying on people, the only way to guarantee something is done the way you want, you've got to do it yourself. So quick shout out to the web designer I fired. That being said, I am not a web designer/ web builder and have been thusly disappointed with the limited creativity of the people who are taxing the pants off people for mediocre work. So I've spent the last two weeks using indigo as my personal library to learn what I can about building a new and amazing blog, worthy of my readers.

I know I've neglected y'all but hopefully you haven't completely given up on me! I have so many dope things in store for you guys. It's going to be a great spring/summer here on The Bitch!

The Articulate Bitch

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Most Swag: Ways to Show Love

It's finally February and Valentine's day is once again here. As important as it is to show some love on this designated day, it's perhaps more important to know how to show the person you're with some loveeeee and affection every day.

Many people are just not affectionate. They take the approach of treating their relationship like a job. They show up, go through the motions, do the bare minimum and clock out at the end of their shifts with about as much enthusiasm as it takes to watch paint dry. Affection is meant to show love to someone, in subtle ways. Small acts of love to remind someone that you are enjoying the time you spend with them, and that they make you happy.

Affection is a lost art. To be effective, it has to be tailored to the person you're showing it to. Most people aren't super mushy, or lovey-dovey, so the "traditional" concept of romance and affectionate behaviour may not necessarily be well received by the modern man or woman. Beyond the death of traditional romance, many people are not comfortable  with PDA (public displays of affection) either, so an equivalent must be found to suit the needs of our modern day relationships. Here are a couple ways I've found are better suited for the 2013 man and woman's new love life.

In days long passed, it would have been commonplace and customary to write the man or woman of your current affections a love letter. You would have sat at your dimly lit desk and poured over mushy line after line until the pages were full and your heart had purged it's every inner emotion. Sealed with a kiss and a spritz of something sweet smelling, your letter would have been read by your sweetheart over and over and over again until their cheeks hurt from smiling. Then they would reciprocate and complete the same process. Nowadays, snail mail is dead, so too died the love letter. What do we have now? Well, we have texting. However informal the delivery and however un-romantic the writing process, this is what we are left with. Sending your boo a nice text, however long or short is a nice way to let them know that you're thinking about them. Don't lie, when your phone buzzes and you see it"s a text from your boo, you smile. That's exactly the point.

In public, showing affection can be a slippery slope. Too much, and you're one of those people. Not enough and you're lover may think you are afraid to claim them in public. Personally, I'm not a fan of PDA. I think certain things should be left for the privacy and intimacy that is reserved for just the two of you. You don't have to eat each others' faces in public to show some love in public, but you shouldn't be so obscure that others aren't sure that y'all are together either. Body language and eye contact says so much. At the very least, the physical distance between you should be small enough that another girl/guy won't try to scoop your sweetheart. I can't tell you how often I see dudes walk so far behind their girlfriends that other dudes see an open window to step to her. Then they want to get mad about it, like it's not their fault. There is a simple solution, don't be afraid or ashamed to BE with someone in public. You don't need to kiss or even hold hands if that's not your steelo, but at least have occasional physical contact that reflects an intimate relationship. When you are out together there should be no question about whether or not he/she is yours.

Random acts of romance are dead, but in all honesty they need to be resurrected. There's nothing like an out of the blue gift, or date, or a surprise at work/school to make the other person feel special as fuck. Don't wait for Valentine's Day to be romantic, that's lame. What does it hurt to send her flowers at work just to show her some appreciation? How much would he love it if you surprised him with a brazilian wax and new lingerie? I'm just saying....

Great sex is always a good way to show love. Although you should never half-ass the sex you have with someone you love, sometimes you gotta do a little extra to show them you aren't getting to comfortable. For example, there's nothing quite as porn-worthy as getting inebriated with your lover and indulging in a well needed, no holds bar, zero inhibitions type throw down in the sheets. Maybe you let him/her try something new, or maybe you try something new on them. Either way, nothing shows more love than boosting the sex game a little bit. Keep shit interesting, remind them why they wake up to you and not those other losers.

Food is also a genuine way to show love. We all gotta eat, and we all love food in some way or another. We all have favourites and things we don't get to treat ourselves to often enough. So naturally treating your significant other to a rare food experience is about as loving and thoughtful as it gets. Perhaps you take them to their favourite restaurant, perhaps you try new food together, perhaps you make them dinner.... perhaps they make you breakfast?

Being the catalyst of calm is about as real love can get for many of us. Our day to day lives are filled with bullshit and irritants that are often hard to shake when we arrive home. Being the soft spot for your lover is key in stressful times. Think about it: your man/girl had a long, tiresome day at work. They come home complaining and relaying all the troubles of the day with you, the stress just dragging them down as though gravity got turned up. Here you come with their favourite drink (my King likes Hennessy), or maybe a blunt (their favourite of course),  a massage and a nice sloppy round of head. Winner. They'll love you for it, and they remember why they're with you in the first place.


These are just a few of many effective ways to show love in 2013. Bottom line is to treat your lover how you yourself want to be treated. Do all the things you would love them to do, and remind them every day why you are the only person they should ever want to be with. Because otherwise..... what's the point?

Happy V Day y'all!

The Articulate Bitch





Love Notes

V Day is today ladies and gents, and in light of Love Notes tonight at Play Nightclub (Queen and Ossington) I've changed the title of Letters To My Him to .... uh... well.... Love Notes.

I sorted through the submissions and selected a few (of many). Sorry if yours doesn't get posted, truth is I received too many to publish them all. So here they are, in no particular order.... Love Notes.


First:


To My King, 

My one and only king. My king planned and prepared before he even knew he was; But patience is what i taught my self to hold. Seven years I held on preparing for the day he put away the baby game, the player game and became a man that found himself quickly to become, my king. His Queen I always was. For seven years he went through that trial  and error. Went from being my friend, my “ting”, a friend with a benefit? Wasn't so pleased with the last one, I could not except it. In my eyes, as his queen I shouldn’t have to. He was my best friend. Deep down we both knew the truth behind what we forcefully built, “The cover up” I called it. Said we were best friends but always ended the night with a passionate kiss. His exact words were “I couldn't resist”.

I was there through thick and thin. Loyalty even when I wasn’t loyal? Ya that’s my love life story. Hurt but still chose to stick around, cause I knew the kind of man I could compliment him to be, and I darn well knew I was going to do it successfully. Ambition, loyalty and Intellectual? Yes he had it all. A young man with a scorpion personality that I knew was only in this baby game just because no one earned his loyalty, his trust, they never gained patience or even bother to grow with him in every way possible, but I did.

His loyalty and his faithfulness, He decided to create footsteps with me I never even thought was possible to create. We are one, there are no halves, no such thing as a half. A  relationship is an understatement when it comes to describing the very set commitment I chose to be in. A believer in Christ?  Well he heard my prayers. He makes my temple, past, present and everything imaginable smile and the thought of him even being in my future makes me smile as well  The time we let progress only made us stronger. I am known as his wife, his queen his one and only. He only has to say it once; his body actions dose all the rest. One thing I don’t have confused I'm not observing through naive eyes. Referring to one of the blogs I read, The inner nigga in me is simply there, not to pull me back but to keep me in check. When the person you are with took time to work with the soft side and the nigga in you, then with the love they give decided to help you tame them both, so you can walk together side by side, mentally, physically and with every ounce of your soul keep them.

As long as it took, that’s exactly what you did. I didn't force you, the inner man in you always knew. Your heartbeat is heard in my chest. The inner man in you took your toys and replaced it with something we call reality and showed you how to open your eyes and use it. I Love every inch of your mind, every corner of your personality, every curve to your body and every step we take. Not side by side, but as the same foot steps. You are not my “other half” you are not my “soul mate” you are not my “man”, We’re simply each other with the same foot step, something I’ve always wanted, and needed to be.

Your Queen.


Second:

This guy. 
He is my "him".
He knows it and I know sometimes he abuses it. 
He knows I will be there with him, to motivate him, to listen to him and to fuck him. To enjoy dinners with him, watch movies with him, fall asleep on the phone with him. 
What he probably doesn't know, is that I knew he was my "him" a long time ago. When we first met three years ago, in fact. 
Though I never really showed it I expected him to know it. Deep down I had already envisioned us together 10 years down the road. We were living together, happy and in love and lust at the same damn time. 
That is where I hope to be. Till the sweet, sweet fantasies become a reality, I patiently work on me and he works on him, all the while, not neglecting us. 
We want to give each other the sun, moon and stars, but we, individually, have to reach them and possess them first. Then once we have acquired them, and only then, are we able to share them. It took me a while understand that notion because I was willing to accept him just as he was. But how could I, if even he wasn't content with himself. How was he supposed to believe that I was content with him? 
That being said, it's completely tolerable to appreciate somebody for who they are, but it is also crucial to encourage growth. It's good for him, for you and the bond between the two of you.
As he continues to aspire to be a better version of himself, and I do the same, it can only yield great results for us. 


.....

More Love Notes tonight as I sift through my email.... in the mean time enjoy the mini movie for the EVENT Love Notes, tonight at Play Nightclub (Queen and Ossington)...



The Articulate Bitch


Monday, 7 January 2013

Letters to My Him

I love hearing from my readers because it helps me keep them happy. Letters to My Him is your opportunity to be totally and completely honest about and to the man who occupies your mind. The one who you think about when you listen to love songs. The man you fall asleep with thoughts of, and wake in the morning wishing was laying next to you. The apple of your eye, the object of your affection. This man could be anyone. Your crush, a guy you're talking to, the best friend you have feelings for, your boyfriend, the father of your child... Anyone. Let's break the ice and show that despite our strength and the power of society's new double standard, we are still the soft on the inside beings they secretly desire.

To be fair, and to give you an example of what I want to inspire in you ladies, I'll begin with the first letter. Enjoy.

"Dear King,

I've waited so long for you. I dreamt of you every night, wishing every morning to sleep longer just to have you again. You are the man of my dreams.

Man after man has disappointed me, hurt me, and made me feel empty. I was so lost as I searched for you in all the mistakes I made, all my poor judgement, all my indiscretions and embarrassments. I asked myself where you were. Why I could feel you so near and yet still never find you. Now I know it was all worth it. All those past experiences were to make me strong enough to hold you down the way you deserve.

I adore you. You are perfect. Your flaws however many or few, are not flaws at all but places for me to strengthen you. I don't want to complete you, I want to compliment you. I want to be the missing link, the known unknown, the Queen on your chessboard. Let me be what you've always wanted and never had. Let me be your final step to the greatness I see in you.

That same greatness is my inspiration to be great myself. I always want to be deserving of you. A whole man deserves a whole woman so we each are so much more than each others' other half.

You make me feel royal.

Love, The Queen. "


All names will be kept secret of course. It will be completely up to you if you share the link with your 'him'. Let the love flow! Share how you REALLY feel without being judged or poked fun at by your home girls. Here's your chance baby girl... Let him know.

Articulatetoronto@gmail.com


The Articulate Bitch

The Young Bul Complex

Oh, to be young again!

I remember being 18 years old and being so excited about growing up. Mind you, I already felt like I was grown. You couldn't tell me nothing. As good as we had it at that age, we probably ain't got shit on kids these days. The world is a different place now. Things that were important to us then are obsolete now. Technology has changed accessibility, music has changed, priorities have changed. A new creature has been created: the young bul.

The young bul (as I like to call him) is a specific breed of young nigga. This youngster has certain characteristics that set him apart from youngins who are growing up the same way we did.

1. They tend to be rather spoiled. The young bul has parents who are likely rather young themselves. They want their son to have all the things they themselves want or wanted. Although they may not blindly hand EVERYTHING to them, they do just enough to give their son a sense of entitlement. Now he expects most things to be handed to him. Material things hold no real value to him because he doesn't have to work for them. He knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

2. They're girl obsessed. Maybe this isn't exclusive to the new generation of young niggaz, but the approach sure as hell is. There's this denial of the fact that I don't recall from my younger days. Firstly, the standards these young dudes set out for the women they see as ideal are wildly unrealistic and half the time they don't even know WHY certain standards are in place to begin with. Yet all the things they do so publicly are so clearly to attract the attention and interest of females. All while they play hard to get (which is retarded), as though "bitches ain't shit".

3. They desire a life they don't live. This may be true for us all, but generally we aim higher, for bigger and better things. We try to get up OUT the hood. We're doing everything in our power to NOT have to do the horrible things we do as products of poverty. These kids already out the hood, suburban paradise and all, yet they hear all the hood shit in music (which isn't an accurate representation of their reality), and try to live the lyrics. Essentially they spit in the face of their parents hard work and hustle backward just for the right to SAY they did hood shit.

4. They have an addiction to keeping up appearances. These dudes simply can not live within the realm of their reality. Everything gotta be designer. They have no job, may still be collecting from mom and pops, but you can't tell them they not balling. They buy things they can't afford to impress people they don't know or even like.

5. They always go too far and do too much. Arguments with these dudes are filled with Chief Keef-esque rebuttals and gone-too-far comments. Everything is a show, an extravaganza of sorts. They do it all to be seen and admired. Not knowing that the outside facade holds no substance. Essentially the image they spend so much time cultivating amounts to nothing. They don't and won't learn this until it's too late.

Just my opinion.

The Articulate Bitch

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Punishable Good Deeds

People, in general, tend to be blissfully unaware of themselves. They flutter blissfully through life unaware that their actions and intentions are as plain and obvious as the smile on their face.

I've heard it said that "no good deed goes unpunished". The concept of that statement, from what I gather, is essentially the same basis for "nice guys finish last". And while it is true that in life it seems that the nicest people have the hardest time, we all know those OTHER people. Those who only do nice things to be praised for them.

I have a special brand of dislike for these people. A good deed done for thanks is not a good deed at all. A good deed is done selflessly, with no intention toward receiving anything in return. Yet there are people, and we all know at least one, who will do nice things only to have leverage over you. That is why so many people refuse favors from others. They'll tell you straight up "I don't wanna owe nobody shit," and I can't wrong them.

Accepting a favor from someone, whether you asked for it or not, is risky business. But accepting a favor from one of these "fake good" people is very nearly the end of the world. They hold it over you forever, remind you of it at any given chance and gain a remarkably disproportionate sense of entitlement. Now you find yourself caught between wanting to punch them in the fucking face for being a dickhead and feeling like an ungrateful cunt. So what do you do? You nod and smile, take the shit they dish out, accept defeat and keep it moving. Why? Because you know what they will say the moment you show defiance; "that's how you're gonna act after I blah blah blah for you when you needed it most?". Ah! Now the truth comes out.

These people, are literally just biding their time waiting for the moment to get to use that line. Some of them are so bold they'll use it regularly on you just to keep you in place. But they play mind games superbly. They push and test your limits, seeing how much they can bend you until you break at their will. Essentially it's what I like to call Favor Slavery.

Favor slavery is the worst form of manipulation. There's probably a special place in hell for people who do this but perhaps the worst part is that they don't think anything is wrong with it. To them it is perfectly acceptable to hold someone ransom simply because they may have done something nice for them. Certain people are just satisfied to carry a sense of entitlement with them all though their days. They tend to be the ones who feel like the world owes them something anyway.

Sunday, 30 December 2012

New Music: 404 Shawty

I did a post about some new music coming out of Atlanta a while ago called Georgia Boys to give y'all a taste of the music that will soon be taking over our airwaves and consuming our minds with infectious hooks and quotables upon quotables. I didn't, however get to share my favourite find from the A.

I'm always skeptical when it comes to new female music talent. Reason being, nine times out of ten it's nothing you even wanna bother to take past the first listen. Then on top of all that it's always on some super sap shit, some damsel in distress shit or some my boyfriend is this or that shit. zzzZZZzzzz....

I got tired of being bored and along came exactly what I was looking for. Actual talent without all the simpin'.

Check Out ---> Suite 404 - Miloh Smith




I'm kinda in love with her voice. Super easy on the ears, no annoying, high pitched, pop rap garbage. More mellow, almost Floetry-esque flow. Very stoner-worthy. Honestly, anyone who can sing about riding around with a gun so beautifully deserves my love. Guys and ladies alike will enjoy this project.

My fav tracks are Ounces, Burner On My Side, French and February 29th. The interlude is fucking beautiful too.

I'm willing to bet you'll like this so click HERE to download this dopeness.

The Articulate Bitch