Til Death Do Us Part

One of my favourite subjects (clearly... If you've ever seen me you know) to speak about are my tattoos. Actually, just tattoos in general.

I get approached a lot by people who either have only a couple tattoos, tattoos they're not happy with, or tattoos virgins all the time. They always have a million questions about them. Hopefully this can answer some of them.

1. "Where should I go to get my tattoos done?"

When looking into getting new work done the best thing to do is to check out the shops themselves. I don't doubt that there are talented artists working in their own basements but for your safety and piece of mind, go to an actual tattoo shop. Take a little  tour and check out how the shop operates. Generally speaking a good tattoo shop will show you the work stations and sterilization room (if they do piercings as well) to make you comfortable with your surroundings. If you like what you see take it to the next step.

2. "Who should I get to do my tattoo?"

Choosing the right artist is like choosing a hair dresser or barber. Check out their work in their portfolio and determine if the style of the artist matches the style of the tattoo you're looking to get. You won't want to go to someone who does script very well to do something in full colour, for example. Look for someone who does what YOU want well.

3. "I really want to cover this."

Nothing more stressful than tattoo regret. Never fear, cover-ups are here! Covering a tattoo is sometimes difficult based on the tattoo that's being covered. Just be aware that whatever is covering it will have to be bigger and darker to cover effectively.

4. "How much do you pay for your tattoos?"

I'm the wrong person to ask. My homies are tattoo artists. But tattoos are one of those things where you get what you pay for. Cheap tattoos aren't good and good tattoos aren't cheap. The worst thing you can do is price shop for a tattoo. Downtown Toronto shops usually charge between $100-$175 per hour and have base prices of about $80. Keep in mind that the price is to cover he cost of needles, ink, and all the disposable sterile equipment being used as well as labour itself. It's worth shopping around for artists but not for the lowest price. Don't risk your health or the quality of your art just because you're cheap.

5. "I can't decide what to get!"

Knowing you want a tattoo but not knowing what to get is a common complaint. Most people think every tattoo should have some deep, profound meaning. That's a good way to choose one, but certainly not the ONLY way. Only a couple of my tattoos have a meaning, the rest are just works of art I love. A good tattoo is something you love and will continue to love. Whether it means something or not is up to you. Talk to your artist, many times they have insight about the meaning of symbols that may suit your needs, or just a really dope piece they've drawn and can't wait to tattoo!

The bottom line is knowledge and comfort. Know what you want, and what your artist is capable of. Be comfortable with the shop you're in, they people who work there and the person you bring with you to get your tattoo. Make sure your artists shows you that your needle, tubes and equipment are all new in sealed packages.

When you're all set up and ready to go, just breathe! Relax, all tattoos are painful to some degree. Some body parts hurt more than others so do a little research if you're afraid of pain. Numbing gel exists, but it changes to texture of the skin making it harder for your artists. So just man up! I promise the pain is worth the result.

Always always always listen to the advice your artist gives you about aftercare!!! No vaseline and no polysporin, EVER!!! Unscented, mild lotion and soap is the way to go. Don't hit the gym and work out the area you just got tatted and for heavens sake keep it out of water (pools, hot tubs, ocean, lake etc) and sun.  Sun is a new tattoos enemy.

Love the art, not the cool factor. Keep it real, don't swagger jack someone's tatts. That shit is horrible.

Hope this helps you budding tattoo enthusiasts! Remember, only ink is forever.

The Articulate Bitch

For Classy Johnny

Long overdue...

I'm dedicating my new banner to my friend John Giaouris aka Classy Johnny (May 20 1990 - April 14 2012). He was a 21 year old designer from Toronto. He designed that beautiful jacket I'm wearing in the photo (Photo Cred to the AMAZING Kadeem Ellis), as part of his line, Code Toronto.

Classy Johnny was an amazing person. The sweetest guy, and infinitely talented. We talked about working together before he had completed his first full collection for Code Toronto. Losing him really hurt me, even though we didn't know each other very long. He was just such a positive, inspiring person for someone so young. I had such great expectations of him and knew he would do amazing things in life.

I don't wanna cry so I'm going to make this short and sweet.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank Classy Johnny for restoring my faith in young talent. For inspiring me to live life to the fullest and never doubting my own abilities to do whatever I want in life. Johnny had faith in me as I had faith in him. I don't plan to disappoint him.

Much love to his parents, two amazing people George and Anna.

The Articulate Bitch

Club Chronicles pt11: Pride Edition

Very special edition! Celebrating everything that is Pride Toronto 2012!

I attended Blockorama for the 3rd year this year. Essentially, Blockorama is a black, gay block party. There are performances, live DJs, amazing food and drinks. The admission is free and the music is great. 

If you thought there could never be a gay dancehall scene (although the straight one is pretty gay as it is) think again. Blockorama had the crowd skinning out, wining up and getting real cyattie like. That being said, I released my inner cyattie and took it back with some old dancehall music. Yes, alcohol was CLEARLY a factor. Fuck you. Don't judge me. It was mad fun. But let's jump right into this. 

Firstly, if you can't vogue, DON'T. there was a lot of struggling going on in that crowd. Leave the dramatics to House of Monroe. They got this. Stop flingin' up yourself, nearly injuring yourself doing the dip or pulling a calf muscle trying to duck walk. Leave it to the professionals.  

I love drag queens. I love the exaggeration, the over-the-top glamour, everything! But what makes a good drag queen? I'm not expert but a lot of these lovely beings could use some makeup tips FOR REAL. For one, shave your face! You've got pounds of foundation on and ur stubble is poking through. That's gross. Learn to walk in those heels, please and for the love of our lord and savior, Madonna, comb your weave/wig. I would say it to the girls, so I'm saying it to you gurls. 

Just like at any other party, the inappropriate dancing was abundant. A lot of it I just excuses 'cause it was Pride and everyone was drunk or high or both. But some dudes were taking it too far past a bubble. You can dance together but mimicking sexual acts is wrong for every gender and orientation. Save that for the bedroom when you don't have to mimic for the sake of decency. 

Pride was epic. Beautiful. The most non-judgmental party I have EVER been to. I invite anyone to come next year. 

The Articulate Bitch

That's So Gay

Pride week in Toronto was purely fabulous. Living in the village/GAYbourhood made it all the better this year and I honestly enjoyed it. But with every year that another pride passes, is another year of phobic folks and their closed minded opinions. I'm gonna do what I can to give y'all phobes some insight, even if you don't change your mind, you need to read this. 

For one, dudes need to stop thinking that every gay dude wants them. A dude liking men does not mean you're his type. Chill. You don't like every girl that you come across, it works the same way. Beyond that, LGBT folks have 'gaydar'. That means they can sense whether you're homofabulous or not. So being loudly, obnoxiously homophobic isn't necessary. It may even work against you. I know more than a few gay men who LOVE messing with dudes who say rude things to them in public. It's funny to them (to me too actually), but certainly won't be to you. Keep your comments to yourself and look away if you're that disgusted. 

Fake lesbians/bi girls annoy the shit outta me. You ladies are why dudes still think its okay to expect a threesome from every girl who likes girls. One year you're just SO gay and now all of a sudden you're not? Yeah. Right. I've said it before, being gay is NOT a choice. If you're just slutty than be so. Don't claim to like pussy. You know you're doing it to impress niggaz. We are not amused.

Being gay-tolerant does not make a person gay. Should go without saying but... Well homophobes aren't generally that informed anyway. Y'all sound like down south KKK members calling white people "nigger lovers". Honestly it's just so off-base. 

Homophobic men, black ones especially kill me because so much of what they claim to hate is an integral part of their lives. Oh, you "HATE" gays huh? That's a nice Louis Vuitton belt you're wearing. Those Versace sunglasses are awfully nice. That Gucci watch is stunning. Those Christian Louboutin sneakers are sick. For someone who hates gays so much you sure are wearing a lot of them. Gay men RUN the fashion world. Don't you EVER forget it.

While I'm at it, maybe instead of hating gays so much you should hate the straight mother and father who brought them here. No? Oh. Okay. 

The Articulate Bitch

Cuffing Season???

Every fall I write a piece about the coming of cuffing season. Somehow it seems the season has come early this year. I blame global warming. 

Dude after dude I've encountered recently has been on some girlfriend shit. I don't understand it! It's July for fucks sake!!! The weather is still amazing. Bitches are still outside in the shortest of shorts and maxi dresses that show off their commando-clad asses. Niggaz are supposed to be whoring around, acting irresponsibly and being single. Yet here I am, 4 niggaz deep, fending off relationship propositions like zombies during the apocalypse. 

Have I missed something? Or are dudes perhaps men are maturing past the whore phase of life? I need answers. I feel lost. Someone has thrown my libra scale way way off. Is this only happening to me?

The Articulate Bitch

Frank Ocean Comes Out

It's 4:30 am...

All day rumors were swirling about Nostalgia Ultra singer Frank Ocean being gay. I searched high and low for some sort of confirmation, finding only that folks were speculating based on song lyrics from his new album. So, I waited.

Three hours ago Frankie himself posts something on his tumblr (frankocean.com) saying: "what I'm about to post was intended to fill the thank you credit section of my album...but with all the rumors going around I thought it would be good to clarify."

I laid in bed and read his story about the summer he first fell in love. The summer he realized he was... Well, not straight. He told of how he struggled with it, "for the last year or 3 I've screamed at my creator, screamed at the clouds in the sky, for an explanation. Mercy maybe," and how he finally told his friend how he felt. How his friend didn't reciprocate for another 3 years. 

The makeup I didn't take of is running down my face to my ears in my tears. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to be working on music, the fame, the fans... The weight of this secret combined with the weight of his life as a star... It's unfathomable. 

His letter was so heart felt. Real. Beautifully written, as only he could do. I felt every word and saved the post. 

Here is a wildly successful young man, he's releasing his second album (Channel Orange set to drop July 17th), has the likes of Jay Z and Kanye West on his resume, legions of fans who love him and hang off his every beautifully sung word. Frank Ocean is the bravest young nigga in the industry for this. 

SMH. I'm still crying. Not because I'm sad or disappointed in him but because I can only imagine the fear that comes behind an admission like this. So many people are still so closed minded about the topic of homosexuality or bisexuality that many feel keeping the secret is wiser.  The hip hop industry is already so judgmental and harsh. Frank Ocean's bravery is inspiring. 

Pride Week Toronto ended this past Sunday. I saw a lot of faces I didn't see last year, many familiar ones I was proud had come out, finally. I'm not asking anyone to change their views, but open your eyes! We all bleed the same and breathe the same air. We all want the same things; to live happily and love freely. Homosexuality in any degree is not a choice. Who would voluntarily choose to be discriminated against so severely? 

It takes bravery to be honest with the world about something you undoubtedly will be judged for. I salute all those who came out this Pride, and to Frank Ocean for being so brave. 

Live and let love...
Swim good.

The Articulate Bitch

PS: in case you're wondering what Odd Future front man, Tyler the Creator thinks, here's what he tweeted: " Fucking Finally Sus Boy @frank_ocean Hahahaha, You Still Aint Got No Bitches Hahaha My Nigga Dawg" .... "My Big Brother Finally Fucking Did That. Proud Of That Nigga Cause I Know That Shit Is Difficult Or Whatever. Anyway. Im A Toilet." ....then a little later.. "AY BITCHES, IMA START SINGING SO LIKE, ALL OF FRANKS BITCHES CAN YOU COME OVER HERE AND LIKE HOLLA AT YA BOY!" .... I fucking love Tyler. Lmao

Club Chronicles 10

Dime like a bad bitch.

This joyous occasion calls for a switch up! Number ten is all about beautiful club moments!

Nothing like just arriving at the club, saying your hellos and seeing the bottle service girl walking over with your bucket, bottle and of course... SPARKLERS!!!!

(photo courtesy Instagram: WessleeSnapz .... WetBar Toronto)

Bruh, as soon as the buckets hit the table something snaps in you 'cause you know that is the last sober memory you're going to have for the night. Moments later you're wasted as fuck, jumping on a couch spilling your drink while you lose your God given mind screaming "THAT'S THAT SHIT I DON'T LIKE!" at the top of your lungs.

Nothing better than celebrating your birthday in the club surrounded by your closest niggaz, bitches and bottles. One of my homies celebrated his birthday a few weeks ago, Meek Mill's song "Amen" came on. By this time, we were all already drunk, standing on couches and shit. So we're singin' and rapping along when the entire booth raises bottles and drinks together singin' "CHUUUUUUUURCH!!!!"... maybe you had to be there, but it was honestly a beautiful moment.

(photo courtesy Instagram: shadbox16 ... Toronto)

For those of us who like to turn up to extreme levels when we party, whether it's someone's birthday or not, taking bottles to the head is a normal occurrence. That's that get drunk quick shit right there. Especially if you're a Hennessy drinker like us dope folks.

(courtesy Instagram: 416Jamz... Kamakacci Juice, Toronto)

For those of us who have regular spots we hit, where the staff know our names and you feel right at home like a corny episode of Cheers, taking shots with staff is not only normal but required. It sets the mood for the night and helps maintain those bonds you have with the people who assist you in your drunken foolishness throughout the nights.

(photo courtesy Instagram: 416Jamz....Time NightClub, Toronto) 

My last, and perhaps favourite beautiful club moment is a tradition amongst my closest party buddies. The prerequisite, celebratory, birthday champagne shower. This is how you show love when you party with us. It's your birthday, we turned up all night, took shots, took bottles to the face, jumped on couches and acted as ratchet as security would let us and now, because none of us can sing 'Happy Birthday' while we're THIS FUCKING DRUNK, we're gonna shake up these Moet and Clicquot bottles then drown you in champagne. Happy Birthday mother fucker. 

 (photo courtesy Instagram: 416Jamz .... Coco @ Wetbar, Toronto)

These are my beautiful moments that make clubbing worth it for me. Yours maay be different, but finding the fun in any club night is key. Fuck standing up staring at people and talking shit about them when they can't hear you over the music. Fuck being sober and wishing you would've just stayed home. Find the fun, have a beautiful club moment, and if you can't... find me and we'll make one for you.

The Articulate Bitch