My Name is Molly

By now you've heard of this lovely lady Molly. She's the party queen anywhere you find her, and she's got a strong hold on the music industry as well. I've dabbled with shorty before so I thought who better to interview on this shit than the world's newest, most popular party girl?

TAB: Long time no, see. When did I last see you?

M: about a month ago at that hotel party. You had little faith in me that night until I rocked you.

TAB: Ah, yes. Fond memories. So, since we first met caribana 2011 you've been a busy girl. Why do you think you're so popular?

M: probably because I quit being so hard to find. After a certain point I was so available to certain people I became an everyday thing for them. Parties are still the most fun though!

TAB: Parties ARE the most fun. For those who don't know you or haven't partied with you, explain the experience.

M: I'm basically the life of the party. I'm gonna start slow and take my time to let you feel me then once you start rolling it's non-stop experience after experience. I make your eyes wide, your heart race. When you're rolling with me music is better the environment is amazing and you can drink like a fish. With me, fun and enjoyment is pure. I remove your anxiety and replace it with euphoria.

TAB: You do a lot for a person's confidence too, though. People have whole new personalities when they roll with you.

M: that's the best part I think. With me you're friendly, talkative, innocent and honest. I let people be themselves at their most social best.

TAB: I have great memories of our... Ahem.... Private encounters, too.

M: I remember them all, believe me. I bring out the energizer bunny in someone. Hours feel like minutes and every stroke, every lick, ever touch feels like its plugged into surround sound on your body. The buzz is amazing. I must admit though, as good as I feel, too much of me at a time makes it hard for dudes to get hard with me. Even just rolling with me makes it hard to nut if you're a guy. Ladies though...

TAB: How much is too much? Can I die rolling with you?

M: I'm an intense bitch. Too much of anything isn't good, but people have doubled or tripled or more on me and haven't had anything terrible happen. I'm a realistic bitch, common sense is everything with me.

TAB: But Molly, sometimes you're a dirty bitch and make a person feel like shit. The fuck is that about?

M: I have bad days too! When I'm dirty it's just because I've been treated bad. Some people don't take care of me, got me chillin' around harder shit that can contaminate me. It's not cool. I hate being dirty, people spend more time feeling paranoid and trying to focus the feeling into calmness to enjoy me.

TAB: Anything you wanna add before we come down?

M: Take your time with me. Fuckin' with me is intense so bring a couple of your friends to make you feel comfortable your first few times. Always try to find someone who has been good to me, so I can be good to you. I'm best when I'm clean I promise. Oh, and I'm good in brown, beige and white, depends on how I feel that night!

Shout out to Molly. Dope bitch.

The Articulate Bitch

Dream Chasing

Some of us dream every night, some not as often and still some never at all. We spend time searching for the answers to what our dreams mean hoping for some deeply subconscious solution to our problems.

Those dreams are all fine and dandy for you non-vulgar folks but for those of us with minds planted in the gutter we savor our dreams. Each lusty dream is like a real experience rudely interrupted by reality.

The great thing about a sexy dream is that it has no limits. It can be with whoever your mind wants, doing whatever your mind wants. The only limit in your dream is what you can actually imagine.

They day dream is a perv sport if ever there was one. Seeing a stranger in passing or just zoning out in your own thoughts, finding yourself strangely turned on by the brief moment you thought of something. I've caught myself in this before. To be honest I'm so alright with it, I tend to look around afterward almost seeing if anyone had the same thought I did, or if they somehow knew what I was thinking. Sometimes I even just smile to myself which is probably much more perverted now that I think about it. Don't judge me.

The intoxicated sex dream is often the most vivid and REAL of the dreams, I find. Much the same way drunk sex is some porno shit you've only ever seen and didn't know you could do. That high, rolling or drunk sex dream is the most intense thing your subconscious can do to your body. Shit gets real.

The influencer dream is the most common. This one is when your dream reflects something you were doing, thinking, hearing or seeing. Like when the last texts you were sending were some nasty, lusty shit and you fell asleep thinking about it. Sometimes it's just seeing or speaking to someone that can be the basis for a nice sex dream.

The finisher is my personal favourite. This dream is the one that feels the realest, lasts the longest, is the most satisfying. This dream is so good you either A) actually cum or, B) wake up in a sweat with something hard/throbbing & wet and have to finish the job on the spot. Don't for a moment think A isn't a reality. I promise you it's real.

I love a good lusty dream. It's like your personal brand of interactive porn. Plus it's part fantasy. So perhaps you should be seeking to make your dreams come true in a real and very satisfying way.

The Articulate Bitch

Porn, Glorious Porn

As usual, my friends and I smoked a blunt and engaged in a healthy and lengthy conversation about sex and porn. I love convos like these because you can learn so much about people and yourself too. Sometimes the things you think only run through your mind aren't so different than other people. Here are a few things we discussed and agreed on.

I hate dry porn. The girl is screaming and ramming it back but every time they hit the close up, not a drop. I DON'T GET IT. Where's all the juices?! His dick is dry as hell and these two BEEN fucking. I just get confused because the only dry sex I've ever been aware of is humping with your clothes on (I can't believe that was ever ok). Seems like most of this dry porn is white porn too.

In life a little moaning from a dude is acceptable, encouraged even. In porn, all that theatrical grunting and carrying on just throws me off (another reason I only watch girl in girl porn). Especially if you're trying to rub one out all that guttural shit these porn niggaz do is a turn off. Keep that.

When choosing the right "inspiration" for some alone time with your hand the pattern I've noticed is that most people watch what they themselves enjoy. So my homie, for example, likes girls in reverse cowgirl so when he watches porn that's what he watches. For me, I'm watching girl on girl for the head action. If I watch 'regular porn' I'm still only turned on by the pussy eating, I promise you.

What do you agree or disagree on? Comment below I'll include them in part 3.

The Articulate Bitch

Sharing the Love

"Love is dope." - Someone from Black Twitter

When you enter the realm of love in whichever capacity, it can be the most satisfying feeling. You have someone who you're on an emotional level with, which is rare these days.

As with most positive things in our lives, when things are good we want to share them with those around us. We make a little extra in our paychecks maybe we share a bottle of wine with our friends or pay for dinner. We find a great new restaurant we bring our friends to try it too. We learn something amazing we teach our homies too. Bottom line is, we want to share the awesomeness. But what about our adventures in love? Should we share or keep the dopeness to ourselves?

Well for one, you have to pick and choose your audience. Some people are just too miserable to share your joy with, period. They will feign interest in what you're saying and give half hearted responses. They don't care about anything that has ever made you happy, they want you to tell them how crappy you feel so they can tell you how much crappier they feel. Stay away from these people in life, not just love.

Never ever ever tell a bitter bitch about your man/boyfriend/him. This girl is going to do nothing but tell you how all men ain't shit and how he's gonna do you dirty and all the nice things he's doing now are just part of his game. This poor bitch need some dick so bad you wish you had one to fuck her with. Make it worse this bitch will do some snake shit like fuck your man then be on some "I told you he wasn't shit" shit after.

An untrustworthy bitch is another girl you don't wanna share your relationshiptual details with. She will smile in your face and act like she's so happy for you all while She's scheming on how to get what you've got. This is probably the worst type of bitch. Sometimes this female deserves being fought.

Never, don't ever, tell another dude about a guy you're talking to or dating. I don't even agree with telling dudes in the imaginary "friend zone" about your relationships. There are only a few dudes in any female's life who truly wish to see her happy with someone else, an actual guy friend (who probably would still hit), or perhaps a relative. These are still difficult to spot, knowing their intentions before you spill the beans is key.

Lastly, never over-share. Even those people who do truly want to see you happy and don't mind you telling them tales will grow tired of hearing every petty detail that made you smile today. Be considerate and understand that sharing involves listening as well.

The Articulate Bitch

Welcome to Smokerdom

Your guide to the strange world of Smokerdom ... If you smoke you just might be high reading this. I salute you cuz I'm high writing it.

1. Everything non flammable that is either washable or disposable is probably an ashtray at some point. IDGAF if u think it's gross because it's true. Bottles and empty pop cans are favorites because there's probably something left over to out your bogie or blunt if you drop it inside.

2. We probably have some form of air freshening routine. Opening windows and turning on fans, spraying SOMETHING (whether air freshener or perfume/cologne), perhaps lighting a candle or incense (for those hippy dippy types). Sploofs (a toilet paper roll stuffed with dryer sheets that you blow the smoke into) for the residential types.

3. Lighters are like a reluctant shared commodity because someone is always forgetting one, losing one, pocketing one, buying one and so forth. They just rotate. I've got two lighters from two separate people from two different occasions as we speak. *shrug* lighter leashes are smart but gay. Sorry. Lol

4. Don't ask if I'm high. You saw me smoke. Am I doing high nigga shit? Okayden.

5. Everything is a bong or pipe. Bottles of all kinds, cans, and even apples. Yes.

Don't judge the stoner.

The Articulate Bitch

I'm Not Crazy!

So my friends (pretty much just Trap) and I are always discussing how crazy we have or tend to act in relationships. Check out the lovely ms Cyn Santana in a video about being a crazy girlfriend...



Thing is about being a crazy girlfriend is that as crazy as you want to be, your pride may sometimes get in the way of those momentary lapses in sanity that remind him who he's fucking with.

Why be crazy? Simple. Niggaz love a crazy bitch. Why? Because a crazy bitch cares and has no problem showing it. I wasn't always convinced there was any benefit to being an insane girlfriend until my closest guy friends explained why they stayed with many of the women they complained so much about. My homies have had females bleach their clothes, show up to their side chick's job, ring down their phones, break their video game consoles, destroy their phones and do all sorts of things you would assume would be deal breakers and leave these women single and lonely. But no such thing occurred, and all these niggaz not only stayed with these women but loved them all the same or sometimes more because of how crazy they are.

A crazy girlfriend cares. You flirted with a chick on twitter and she instantly blew up your phone about it. You thought it was something small and harmless, she doesn't see it that way. What's worse? That she overreacted or if she had no reaction at all, but simply did the same with some twitter nigga?

What would you rather? A girl who acts like nothing you do matters at all, or a girl who shows that the things you do affect her? I wasn't always sure, but I do see the value in being with someone who shows how they feel when you fuck up, no matter how big or small.

I used to have no reaction to anything my boyfriends of the past would do. Honestly being crazy takes a lot out of you. It requires you being observant of everything your man does and having a reaction for it. Now, let's not take it to extremes and think that we can get away with doing any level of insane shit with just any man. NO. Your level of crazy has to be relative to how long you have been with him and how strongly y'all feel about each other. 2 weeks into relationship and you still pee with the door closed does not warrant you smashing his XBox into oblivion for him getting a text from a girl that says "Wuddup?". You splitting rent and finding an earring in your bed does (it actually warrants a bit more).

Also, don't think you're allowed to be crazy at every moment every day. That's bullshit. No one wants to deal with someone who is a ticking time bomb. That's how girls get slapped.

Balance is key as with anything. Only be crazy when crazy is needed. The rest of your time should be spent being happy and enjoying all the dopest parts of being  in a relationship with someone you genuinely care about.

The Articulate Bitch

Tatted Girl Problems

The life of a tattooed female is an exciting one fraught with peril and loaded with unsolicited comments and compliments alike. There's just a lot of shit only we deal with day to day. If you share my sentiment, thank you. If you don't, we'll hopefully you'll learn something today.

1. Touchy feely folks are one of my biggest annoyances. Last I checked, we humans see with our eyes. Why on earth do you need to snatch up my arm and run your hands over my skin to "see my tattoo"? It's not Braille and YOU are not blind. Don't touch me.

2. 21 Questions. People always have questions about tattoos, which is fine, but knowing which questions are appropriate seems to escape many people. Dumb questions are worse. Don't ask me if it hurt. Yes, it did. Don't ask me why I got it. I wanted it. Don't ask me "would I ever tattoo my face". Would you? Okay.

3. Curiosity Factor. A lot of dudes have been with girls who HAVE tattoos but haven't been with heavily inked women before. There's an assumption and curiosity that goes along with all this. Before you've said a word he's already decided that you're probably a freak and he's wondering what tattoos are hiding under your clothes. We get the corny pick up lines too "Can I lick your tattoos?" or "I wanna see the REST," being the most common and most annoying.

4. Niggaz also have this irritating habit of thinking that since you have tattoos already, they can make suggestions. Every single time I've been in the tattoo shop some nigga suggests or asks "you should tattoo my name,". The fuck? Why? You're not even PAYING for this tattoo. But that was real fuckin' cute though.

5. Non tatted girls either admire us for having the balls to be this inked, saying "I could never get away with that," or they hate us and think we've made a stupid decision. Those who admire look longingly at our skin as if there's something they've missed. Those who hate us make slick comments and screwface like we don't notice. I feel most sorry for those girls because they clearly don't realize how much we don't care.

6. Meeting mom is also a pretty real concern. White girls with tattoos tend to date white guys with tattoos so meeting his mom isn't much of a concern. Hence why I've said for years I can only date dudes with tattoos. But our darling black mothers are never too pleased to see a Nubian ink goddess walk through the door. At the very least, if her son is heavily tattooed she'll understand why he chose a tattooed girl. If he's bare-skinned, Houston, we have a problem.

7. Everyone thinks you do tattoos. Dude after tatted dude could pass by and no one would make that assumption. As a female, once you pass a certain point of coverage, it feels like everyone thinks you're a tattoo artist. I can barely draw stick people fam.

8. The feminine factor had me lost for a while. The makeup, the hello kitty obsession, the hair, the nails. Most ladies I know who are tattoo enthusiasts like myself fall into the culture (yes, it is one. We have magazines, websites and conventions dedicated to our community). The dramatic makeup and hair, the immaculate manicures and the strange obsession with Hello Kitty. I can't explain it. Thing is, we have to balance out the hardcore, pain-loving, badass image with something overtly feminine and beautiful. That's why my makeup is always done and my hair is too. Without those things I'd just be scary looking.

9. Planning for the future isn't always the main priority here. But as a female there are things I researched for my future ink. Mostly to do with having kids and what that will do to my tattoos. The whole lower back tattoo, epidural myth is just that. A myth. Problem is, that myth runs so deep even some doctors believe it (certainly not all). Definitely do the research yourself for peace of mind. Second was torso tattoos and pregnancy. I'm dying to tattoo my stomach but if it's gonna stretch during pregnancy and possibly not return to beauty afterward, I'd rather not do it. From what I've read it's a case by case situation. Some women recover flawlessly and some look terrible after. Again, do your own research.

10. People assume that because we have tattoos, we must love every dude who's got tattoos too. No. We might like their work, we probably find them more attractive than the average dude but having tatts alone isn't enough. It might get them a second look but there is no certainty we'll like them. Stupid stereotype.

Just a little insight. Hopefully you can relate or you learned something.

The Articulate Bitch