The city of Townsville....
Nah, it's Toronto. Screwface capital of the world. Land of pump fakes and real talent. I've lived here all my life and I love it love it love it, even when it drives me crazy.
Sometimes I say things around folks from other places forgetting they can't relate to the same things us Torontonians can. This city has a culture all to itself that is both amazing and terrifying at times. If you're from here, you'll nod in agreement and if you're not, well here's some education for your next trip to my city.
Only in Toronto, do you have an argument amongst your friends about which Chinese restaurant to eat at after the club. "New Ho King!" "No! Garden!" "Fuck garden! Hong Shing!" (cue the random Scarborough friend) "Well, I want Perfect's". Yep, it's all Chinese, and yep, this argument is totally valid because each spot makes something the other ones don't make as good. The constant battle. Never ends.
Only in Toronto has Wetbar replaced Thursday on the calendar. Whether you love it or hate it, everybody knows where the party is on a Thursday night. Folks who haven't experienced it at its best always talk down on it, but for those of us who have enjoyed the wild and awesome Thursday nights there, there is literally nowhere else you'd rather be.
Only in Toronto are promoters, DJs/MCs, club goers and strippers the only celebrities. Why? Well because other than Drake and Melanie Fiona who else is recognizable? Exactly.
Only in Toronto do you prepare yourself to be yelled at by the old dude outside Forever 21 at Yonge and Dundas to "Believe in the lord" right before you cross the street and see the Eaton Centre pimp dressed head to toe in a 3 piece suit complete with gators and a matching fedora, carrying his cane and bible.
Only in Toronto are you certain to see at least one Degrassi star, comedian from Video on Trial, cast member from 1 Girl 5 Gays or Much Music host if you spend enough time hangin' out downtown. It's kinda cool actually. They all live, work and play in the city, and from my experience they're all very humble and approachable.
Only in Toronto has every lightskin model girl had sex with the same lightskin rapper nig..... Never mind.
Only in Toronto do you have to leave 15 minutes early for anything if you plan on takin' public transit. TTC always got some sort of delay going on slowing down the entire movement o your day. Detours, shuttle buses, emergencies at track level... It's always some form of fuckery.
Only in Toronto do folks have a favourite street meat truck outside city hall. That blue truck poutine is the shit!
Only in Toronto do you see badder females in the club than in the strip club.
Only in Toronto is the entertainment industry network so small, that making even one enemy in the wrong circle can black ball your career. Sad, yes. However, true nonetheless. I've watched it happen, on a couple occasions. It's pretty disturbing and disappointing. But certain people just don't want to see others flourish. It's a TDot thing.
Only in Toronto do we have some of the BADDEST females and the CORNIEST niggaz. The shit almost makes no sense. Beautiful girl after beautiful girl has no choice but to settle for some pump faking, no game having, unimportant dude within the city, or have a long distance relationship with a dude south of the border. It's sad and highly unfortunate for the ladies because it's like you have to settle if you want to settle down.
I know there are plenty more noteworthy points about the screwface capital. Leave your "only in Toronto" notes in the comments!
The Articulate Bitch
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
Nothing's Wrong Except Everything: I Got Questions
Couple things I just keep wondering about. This shit is recurring and annoying as fuck. I just want answers brah.
1. You're not a model, artist, stylist, photographer etc. You have no occupation anywhere within the entertainment industry. So explain to me why you keep doing photoshoots. Why you taking up valuable photographer time, space and resources to have pictures taken of you? Photoshoots serve a few purposes, but the main purpose is for promotion. To add to a photographer or model's portfolio, to use the photos on websites, to promote an event or to be used in various media venues. By default your photo is used in the photographer' portfolio, but if those pics serve no personal purpose why y'all keep wasting time? Instagram? Really hoe?
2. Why does everyone's child have their own instagram page? Granted, this really only applies to a few people. Many folks are trying to get their children into modeling, or their mother(most often) is a stylist and takes the opportunity to showcase their abilities with their own child. In those instances, the page is justified. But some of y'all ain't even got cute or well-dressed kids and still got 369 pics of your kid being basic. Get it together.
3. Why dudes always taking pics of their outfits laid out on the bed for instagram? I LOVE a well dressed man, perhaps more than the average chick, and I can certainly appreciate a dude who knows how to put himself together. Nearly every weekend though, before the party, these dudes take to their closets and very strategically lay their clothes out to show instagram what they're wearing that night. I'm not calling these dudes homo but the pics be real frankie brah. Take a mirror pic, or a waist down photo like the cool cats do. Face it, the outfit ain't even that special. You got on a damn tee shirt, a designer belt an some Jordans. If your whole point was "Hey, look! My J's match my t shirt," we got the point. Now chill out and give the shit a rest.
.... These are rhetorical.
The Articulate Bitch
1. You're not a model, artist, stylist, photographer etc. You have no occupation anywhere within the entertainment industry. So explain to me why you keep doing photoshoots. Why you taking up valuable photographer time, space and resources to have pictures taken of you? Photoshoots serve a few purposes, but the main purpose is for promotion. To add to a photographer or model's portfolio, to use the photos on websites, to promote an event or to be used in various media venues. By default your photo is used in the photographer' portfolio, but if those pics serve no personal purpose why y'all keep wasting time? Instagram? Really hoe?
2. Why does everyone's child have their own instagram page? Granted, this really only applies to a few people. Many folks are trying to get their children into modeling, or their mother(most often) is a stylist and takes the opportunity to showcase their abilities with their own child. In those instances, the page is justified. But some of y'all ain't even got cute or well-dressed kids and still got 369 pics of your kid being basic. Get it together.
3. Why dudes always taking pics of their outfits laid out on the bed for instagram? I LOVE a well dressed man, perhaps more than the average chick, and I can certainly appreciate a dude who knows how to put himself together. Nearly every weekend though, before the party, these dudes take to their closets and very strategically lay their clothes out to show instagram what they're wearing that night. I'm not calling these dudes homo but the pics be real frankie brah. Take a mirror pic, or a waist down photo like the cool cats do. Face it, the outfit ain't even that special. You got on a damn tee shirt, a designer belt an some Jordans. If your whole point was "Hey, look! My J's match my t shirt," we got the point. Now chill out and give the shit a rest.
.... These are rhetorical.
The Articulate Bitch
Top 5 Most Swag: Toronto Trill White Girls
Initially when I thought of this post I intended to have ten beautiful and stylish white girls, from all over, but so many of the lovely ladies were from my fair city I decided to shine the spotlight on them alone.
Valentina
"Lady V"
Co-Owner: TSOQ (719 Queen St West)
Boutique chic
@TheStoreOnQueen (twitter)
Megan Wilson
"Baller Boo"
sportswear meets high fashion
@shegotgame(twitter & instagram)
Jaclyn G.
"Jac Le Flash"
Jaclyn Genovese
Owner: Jac Flash (1036 Queen St West)
Queen Street Classy
@jaclyngenovese (instagram)
Dash
"The Russian Princess"
Prada Dee
Style Icon
Versatile vixen x Nail Game Crazy
@thehighesheels(Instagram)
C.Dub
"Da Boss"
Bossy Girl
Stylist Extrodinnaire
Fashion Forward casual swagger
@cdubdaboss (instagram)
all photos courtesy of respected instagram/tumblr pages
There you have it, 5 beautiful, talented and trill as fuck white girls. It should come as no surprise this city is brimming with beauties like these with style, class and enviable presence. Check them out on the social networks and show some love.... but keep the thirst to a minimum.
The Articulate Bitch
Wednesday, 3 October 2012
Kush Talk w/ Jamz
So I kinda went in yesterday cuz of some blatant identity theft on behalf of my style. Mind you, that very morning I had had a conversation with a Handsome guy about swagger jackery of all kinds.
Nearly everyone who is even relatively successful within my social circle is the embodiment of real. Whether they're selectively real - given a set of circumstances - or all the way real aka three hunna. They are the reason I created Truuism. Truuuism was not meant to be a religion, it's more along the lines of Buddhism, a way of life. The people I choose to surround myself with are disciples of that belief. They all KNOW THEMSELVES.
I was told not to dislike the un-creative, since clearly they're just following leaders. But on a lighter note I just wonder how it feels to son yourself by blatantly swagger jacking. You do realize people notice, don't you? You really wanna be the subject of an embarrassing picstitch showing what a biter you are? That's cool witchu? At least dilute it so it's not so obvious. Or is that asking too much? My bad. I'll just go.
#KsVomit tho.
The Articulate Bitch
Nearly everyone who is even relatively successful within my social circle is the embodiment of real. Whether they're selectively real - given a set of circumstances - or all the way real aka three hunna. They are the reason I created Truuism. Truuuism was not meant to be a religion, it's more along the lines of Buddhism, a way of life. The people I choose to surround myself with are disciples of that belief. They all KNOW THEMSELVES.
I was told not to dislike the un-creative, since clearly they're just following leaders. But on a lighter note I just wonder how it feels to son yourself by blatantly swagger jacking. You do realize people notice, don't you? You really wanna be the subject of an embarrassing picstitch showing what a biter you are? That's cool witchu? At least dilute it so it's not so obvious. Or is that asking too much? My bad. I'll just go.
#KsVomit tho.
The Articulate Bitch
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Black Girls On Trial
Damn right I'm judging. I'm diving right the fuck into this post.
Clearly, as you can see, I am a black girl. My mother is quite on the afrocentric side, natural hair, organic materials, cowry shells, etc. Growing up, both my parents instilled a sense of black pride that I think many children lacked at that age. All my dolls were black. My Barbies were black, my fairy tale books had black princesses and black prince charmings and I even had a black children's Bible. I went to black focus tutor groups and after school programs. I had natural hair or braids all the way up to junior high school and didn't learn about weave until high school (blame brampton). Up until high school I only had a few black female friends. We were scarce in my neighborhood, which was super diverse (I grew up knowing about so many other cultures which was a blessing, trust me).
Then BOOM culture shock when I moved to Brampton with my dad and his wife. I had never seen so many niggaz in my life. Plus I met a whole new breed of female: the stereotypical black girl. The weave wearing, long fake nail having, loud talking, no manners having type black girl. The only place I had seen girls like these was visiting my mother in Florida (Broward & Dade county, wuddup) but this Canadianized version was something new.
For a while I just tried to fit in with them. Then I discovered that just wasn't me, and I found myself. But while in that world and experiencing that life I learned a lot. Some things I liked, but most things I REALLY didn't. Clearly, I'm not speaking about EVERY black girl. Sadly, I'm speaking about MANY of them. I like lists. So here's the run down:
1. Blame game - nothing is ever their fault. They always want to blame shit on some factor they can't control. "It's because I'm black!" or something similar. Never taking responsibility. It's pathetic.
2. PDA - Public displays of aggression are classic black girl behavior. Someone looks at them wrong, it's a fucking SCENE. They carry on so outlandishly it's embarrassing to watch in all honesty. Why? Well because right away I'm getting the same glares this ratchet chick is, just because we share similar skin tones.
3. Stare down - black girls are totally compelled to take a look at the next black girl. This wouldn't be a problem if they were innocent glances accompanied by a smile, but they're looks of disapproval nearly always followed by some rude comment just out of earshot.
4. Keeping up appearances - I can't tell anyone how to dress. I didn't buy your clothes so that's totally on you. But just know that how you look is often how you will be treated. Is it right? No, but you can't complain about being judged if all you do is judge. Stop getting your panties in a bunch and getting rowdy in public when people are staring at you in your hot pink lacefront, and Keylolo-esque demeanor. You look like a circus act so yeah... They're waiting for you to do a trick.
5. Cock fight - black girls are the reigning queens of fighting over men. SHUTTUP! JUST SHUTTUP 'CAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE! We act like total fools for the sake of some nigga who is fucking both (or all) of the girls carrying on stupid over him. We call the other girl, throw subs on the internet, walk out pon a gyal or whatever those girls say. It's deplorable behavior that it seems we ebony queens excel at.
As fantastic and beautiful as we are, why do we stay losing? Everyday some sad example for a black woman sets us back with a display of embarrassment. We're known for the best and absolute worst things. We hate each other so much, and sometimes I can't even disagree with the reasons why. We a hot ass mess sometimes. We really need to get it together.
I don't expect everyone to agree with me. All you preachy people are sitting there spewing shit about self-love and blah blah. That's fine and dandy. I happen to agree with you, but I also happen to live in the real world. Where light skin girls are fantasy, dark skin girls wear platinum blonde wigs, fat girls call themselves thick and every other black girl is your secret enemy. So stick that in your fro and pick it.
The Articulate Bitch
Clearly, as you can see, I am a black girl. My mother is quite on the afrocentric side, natural hair, organic materials, cowry shells, etc. Growing up, both my parents instilled a sense of black pride that I think many children lacked at that age. All my dolls were black. My Barbies were black, my fairy tale books had black princesses and black prince charmings and I even had a black children's Bible. I went to black focus tutor groups and after school programs. I had natural hair or braids all the way up to junior high school and didn't learn about weave until high school (blame brampton). Up until high school I only had a few black female friends. We were scarce in my neighborhood, which was super diverse (I grew up knowing about so many other cultures which was a blessing, trust me).
Then BOOM culture shock when I moved to Brampton with my dad and his wife. I had never seen so many niggaz in my life. Plus I met a whole new breed of female: the stereotypical black girl. The weave wearing, long fake nail having, loud talking, no manners having type black girl. The only place I had seen girls like these was visiting my mother in Florida (Broward & Dade county, wuddup) but this Canadianized version was something new.
For a while I just tried to fit in with them. Then I discovered that just wasn't me, and I found myself. But while in that world and experiencing that life I learned a lot. Some things I liked, but most things I REALLY didn't. Clearly, I'm not speaking about EVERY black girl. Sadly, I'm speaking about MANY of them. I like lists. So here's the run down:
1. Blame game - nothing is ever their fault. They always want to blame shit on some factor they can't control. "It's because I'm black!" or something similar. Never taking responsibility. It's pathetic.
2. PDA - Public displays of aggression are classic black girl behavior. Someone looks at them wrong, it's a fucking SCENE. They carry on so outlandishly it's embarrassing to watch in all honesty. Why? Well because right away I'm getting the same glares this ratchet chick is, just because we share similar skin tones.
3. Stare down - black girls are totally compelled to take a look at the next black girl. This wouldn't be a problem if they were innocent glances accompanied by a smile, but they're looks of disapproval nearly always followed by some rude comment just out of earshot.
4. Keeping up appearances - I can't tell anyone how to dress. I didn't buy your clothes so that's totally on you. But just know that how you look is often how you will be treated. Is it right? No, but you can't complain about being judged if all you do is judge. Stop getting your panties in a bunch and getting rowdy in public when people are staring at you in your hot pink lacefront, and Keylolo-esque demeanor. You look like a circus act so yeah... They're waiting for you to do a trick.
5. Cock fight - black girls are the reigning queens of fighting over men. SHUTTUP! JUST SHUTTUP 'CAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE! We act like total fools for the sake of some nigga who is fucking both (or all) of the girls carrying on stupid over him. We call the other girl, throw subs on the internet, walk out pon a gyal or whatever those girls say. It's deplorable behavior that it seems we ebony queens excel at.
As fantastic and beautiful as we are, why do we stay losing? Everyday some sad example for a black woman sets us back with a display of embarrassment. We're known for the best and absolute worst things. We hate each other so much, and sometimes I can't even disagree with the reasons why. We a hot ass mess sometimes. We really need to get it together.
I don't expect everyone to agree with me. All you preachy people are sitting there spewing shit about self-love and blah blah. That's fine and dandy. I happen to agree with you, but I also happen to live in the real world. Where light skin girls are fantasy, dark skin girls wear platinum blonde wigs, fat girls call themselves thick and every other black girl is your secret enemy. So stick that in your fro and pick it.
The Articulate Bitch
Wednesday, 12 September 2012
Good Girls Get Good Things
All things considered, we as females can't help but want nice things. We love a nice bag, a bad shoe, perfect hair and on-point makeup. We can't help but want to look good outside because we'll feel great inside. Perhaps nothing, though, is as gratifying as receiving these nice things as a gift.
I realize saying "gift" implies that it's free, but to be honest that's not what I mean. In my definition of things, there are no real free gifts. You get presents from your friends on your birthday because you have value to them. You paid them in friendship. Nothing in this world is free, but not everything in this world is paid for in money either. In this case I'm talking about the difference between tricking and rewarding.
A trick (outside of the sex trade term) or bupz, as some of us say, is a dude who buys you things, pays for things, and spends his money on you without you performing wifey duties. Sex is not a wifey duty. Anyone can have sex, not everyone can be a wifey type. A trick isn't looking to build anything with you necessarily, he just wants to enjoy whatever it is you give him. So he doesn't expect wifey duties of you, and clearly doesn't mind spending on you. Generally we as ladies don't respect our tricks or bupz. Ask our friends how we refer to them. We don't even say their name, they're just "My Bupz".
Now, that's where tricking ends. A relationship (business or emotional) is a whole other ball game. Relationships become about rewards. It works both ways for males and females. It's all a give and take. You ride for him the way he needs you too and he rides for you and treats you the best way he can.
If you're his woman, you're probably taking care of him in some ways. You're feeding him and fucking him. You're rolling his piff, mixing his lean or whatever. You're showing him why he should keep you everyday. It's like a damn job for real. So why shouldn't he reward your awesomeness?
Why shouldn't he keep you fly while he's stuntin' on the world? "Match my fly" is more than a song lyric it's relationship advice. You would really rock Gucci head to toe while your girl was rockin' no labels at all? No. That's embarrassing. Especially if she's been so good to you. What kind of a man does that make you? Your girl is an extension and representation of you.
Y'all nodding and agreeing, ladies, but do you deserve nice things? Are you his rider or his ball and chain? Do you do for him without being asked, or does he have to nag you to be a good girlfriend? See, because only good girls get good things.
Loyalty is priceless. Nothing holds more benefit and value than a loyal woman. Before you disagree understand this: being loyal doesn't mean you're inferior in any way. It takes a special woman to stay loyal without a title, to remain loyal when betrayed, to accept an apology gracefully and still not get emotionally trampled by a man who's being a man. A loyal woman is the strongest kind.
Only a loyal female receives the best of things from her dude. So understand that doing for your man is not an automatic sign of weakness. If he treats you like shit and you stay, you've got the game fucked up. A smart bitch is loyal to a man who knows and respects what she is worth. He'll treat her well because she holds VALUE. So yes he'll buy her gifts and make sure she always looks good because he know that makes her feel good. About as good as she makes him feel.
Good girls get good things.
The Articulate Bitch
I realize saying "gift" implies that it's free, but to be honest that's not what I mean. In my definition of things, there are no real free gifts. You get presents from your friends on your birthday because you have value to them. You paid them in friendship. Nothing in this world is free, but not everything in this world is paid for in money either. In this case I'm talking about the difference between tricking and rewarding.
A trick (outside of the sex trade term) or bupz, as some of us say, is a dude who buys you things, pays for things, and spends his money on you without you performing wifey duties. Sex is not a wifey duty. Anyone can have sex, not everyone can be a wifey type. A trick isn't looking to build anything with you necessarily, he just wants to enjoy whatever it is you give him. So he doesn't expect wifey duties of you, and clearly doesn't mind spending on you. Generally we as ladies don't respect our tricks or bupz. Ask our friends how we refer to them. We don't even say their name, they're just "My Bupz".
Now, that's where tricking ends. A relationship (business or emotional) is a whole other ball game. Relationships become about rewards. It works both ways for males and females. It's all a give and take. You ride for him the way he needs you too and he rides for you and treats you the best way he can.
If you're his woman, you're probably taking care of him in some ways. You're feeding him and fucking him. You're rolling his piff, mixing his lean or whatever. You're showing him why he should keep you everyday. It's like a damn job for real. So why shouldn't he reward your awesomeness?
Why shouldn't he keep you fly while he's stuntin' on the world? "Match my fly" is more than a song lyric it's relationship advice. You would really rock Gucci head to toe while your girl was rockin' no labels at all? No. That's embarrassing. Especially if she's been so good to you. What kind of a man does that make you? Your girl is an extension and representation of you.
Y'all nodding and agreeing, ladies, but do you deserve nice things? Are you his rider or his ball and chain? Do you do for him without being asked, or does he have to nag you to be a good girlfriend? See, because only good girls get good things.
Loyalty is priceless. Nothing holds more benefit and value than a loyal woman. Before you disagree understand this: being loyal doesn't mean you're inferior in any way. It takes a special woman to stay loyal without a title, to remain loyal when betrayed, to accept an apology gracefully and still not get emotionally trampled by a man who's being a man. A loyal woman is the strongest kind.
Only a loyal female receives the best of things from her dude. So understand that doing for your man is not an automatic sign of weakness. If he treats you like shit and you stay, you've got the game fucked up. A smart bitch is loyal to a man who knows and respects what she is worth. He'll treat her well because she holds VALUE. So yes he'll buy her gifts and make sure she always looks good because he know that makes her feel good. About as good as she makes him feel.
Good girls get good things.
The Articulate Bitch
It's Trapmas
Today is one most holiest of days, Trapmas. This, the twelfth of september is the birthday of The Gawd Himself 2Chainz. Let the church say Truuuuuu and put ya twos up.
The Articulate Bitch
The Articulate Bitch
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